FEBRUARY 3, 1976

Full News Archive

• Headline: Secret Jury Selection in Hearst Trial. Impact: The decision to curb publicity for the Hearst trial could be seen as a precursor to the age of 'trial by media,' where public opinion can now be swayed by a single tweet. Thanks to this, future jurors would be less likely to be influenced by rational thought and more by viral memes.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'trial by jury' might be more accurately termed 'trial by social media' today? Just a thought!.
• Headline: Liberal Party Leadership Contemplations. Impact: The search for a new leader in the British Liberal Party might have inadvertently paved the way for more obscure political parties to exist. Fast forward a few decades, and now we have parties with names like 'The Unicorn Party' claiming they can fix everything.. Fact: Did you know that the Liberal Party in the UK has been around so long that it might have a chance of becoming a historical artifact? Someone should really put it in a museum..
• Headline: The Soviet View of Emigration. Impact: Deputy Min Boris Shumilin’s comments on emigration might have inspired future bureaucrats to create even more convoluted processes, leading to an Olympic sport called 'Navigating Red Tape' — which, ironically, many would still prefer to actually emigrate.. Fact: Fun fact: Emigration rules are so complex that even the best minds have been known to throw in the towel and just stay put. Who needs freedom anyway?.
• Headline: Study Finds Catching a Cold Is More Difficult Than It Was Thought. Impact: This study on the common cold may have inadvertently led to a decline in public sympathy for people with sniffles. Fast forward to today, and we have a society that believes anyone with a cold is just trying to get out of work.. Fact: Did you know that colds are so difficult to catch that many people have taken to social media to claim they have one, just to get a day off? The irony is real!.
• Headline: U.S. Sues Podell Over $41,350 Fee. Impact: The lawsuit against Podell might have inspired a new generation of politicians to find more creative ways to embezzle funds. Who knew that bribery could lead to such an innovative field of study?. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked all the money from government bribery cases, you could probably build a wall? But let’s be honest; it’d probably just be a wall of shame..
• Headline: Total Realty Value Shows a Drop Here, First in 33 Years. Impact: The decline in real estate value in NYC could be viewed as the first domino in a chain reaction leading to cities everywhere realizing that ‘location, location, location’ doesn't apply when the location is a crumbling building.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time NYC saw a dip in property value, people started trading real estate like baseball cards. ‘I'll give you two brownstones for that penthouse!’.
• Headline: New Mexico Family Wins Settlement In Suit on Children's Mercury Blinding. Impact: The settlement for the mercury poisoning case may have sparked a movement toward stricter regulations on environmental hazards. But let's be real — it also made everyone a little more paranoid about what they put in their mouths.. Fact: Did you know that mercury was once used in everything from thermometers to skin creams? Talk about a 'glowing' endorsement for bad ideas!.