OCTOBER 26, 1975

Full News Archive

• Headline: Regional Tax Proposal for NYC Mass Transit. Impact: Had the regional tax been successfully implemented, it might have led to a time where NYC's mass transit system was a model for efficiency, thus preventing the rise of the Uber empire and the subsequent existential crisis for taxi drivers everywhere. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more convoluted than NYC's transit system is the way politicians promise to fix it.
• Headline: Opposition to Gold Bicentennial Commem Coin. Impact: If they had issued those gold coins, they might have inadvertently sparked a new gold rush, sending hipsters in search of artisanal gold nuggets and ruining the craft mining market forever. Fact: Did you know that numismatics is just a fancy word for coin collecting? Imagine telling your friends that your hobby is numismatics instead of saying you just collect coins like a nerd.
• Headline: SENATE UNITS FACE ARMS‐FUND CLASH. Impact: This clash could have set off a series of budgetary wars, leading to an alternate timeline where Congress was more concerned about their own funding than actually serving the people. Oh wait, that sounds familiar. Fact: Fun fact: Senators arguing over budgets is basically Congress's version of a family dinner where no one can agree on what to order.
• Headline: Spaniards Are Hoping for a Peaceful Shift. Impact: If Franco had kicked the bucket earlier, Spain might have transitioned to a peaceful democracy, possibly avoiding decades of political turmoil and resulting in a very different Eurovision history. Fact: Did you know that every time a dictator dies, a new line of trendy hats is born in their memory? Just kidding, but that would be a fascinating business model.
• Headline: Brooklyn Brownstone Center Open. Impact: In a parallel universe, the opening of this center might have sparked a brownstone renaissance, turning Brooklyn into the hipster capital of the world decades earlier, and making rent prices skyrocket as a result. Fact: Fun fact: Every Brooklyn brownstone has a story, and most of them involve an overpriced avocado toast.
• Headline: She Quit the Comédie Française For Truffaut. Impact: Adjani's decision to leave could have opened the door for a new wave of French cinema where every actress was suddenly expected to choose between high art and commercial blockbuster success. Spoiler alert: they always choose high art. Fact: Did you know that leaving the Comédie-Française is basically the French version of quitting your day job to pursue your dreams? Très chic!.
• Headline: Aid for New York City?. Impact: Had the federal aid been approved, NYC might have transformed into a shining beacon of financial management, inspiring other cities to follow suit, or at least to pretend they were trying. Fact: Fun fact: Federal aid discussions are just Congress's way of playing hot potato with taxpayer dollars.
• Headline: Sales of Car‐Pool Toll Books Top 10,000. Impact: If car-pool books had become more popular, we might have seen a massive shift in commuting culture, leading to a world where sharing rides was the norm, and people actually enjoyed talking to each other in traffic. Shocking, right?. Fact: Did you know that the only people who enjoy carpooling are those who want to practice their karaoke skills in the car? It's like a mini concert on the road!.
• Headline: Double Bass Is Beautiful. Impact: If Karr's concert had been a flop, it could have led to a mass exodus of double bass players from the music scene, forever changing the sound of orchestras everywhere. Imagine a world without the deep, resonant sounds of the double bass!. Fact: Fun fact: The double bass is so big that it's basically the musical equivalent of trying to fit a giraffe in a Volkswagen. Good luck!.