SEPTEMBER 27, 1975

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ford Backs Oil Price Control Legislation. Impact: If Ford hadn't backed the oil curb, we might have been living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland ruled by oil barons who only allow you to drive your car on weekends. Thanks, Gerald!. Fact: Ford's oil policy was about as popular as a diet soda at a barbecue..
• Headline: OPEC's Potential Price Adjustment Discussion. Impact: If OPEC had settled on a price rise without a freeze, we might have been driving hovercrafts by now, powered by anti-gravity oil. Instead, we're stuck with gas prices that fluctuate like a teenager's mood.. Fact: A 10% price rise? Sounds like someone at OPEC just discovered inflation..
• Headline: Failure to Restrict Miss Moore Linked To Role as Informer. Impact: Had the Secret Service taken Moore more seriously, the Amityville Horror might have been just another urban legend instead of a cinematic franchise that spawned countless sequels.. Fact: Being an informer in the 70s was like having a VIP pass to the worst show on earth: government dysfunction..
• Headline: People and Business. Impact: Turner's foray into motivational speaking could have birthed an entire industry of self-help gurus, and who knows, maybe even a reality TV show that teaches you how to con people with charm.. Fact: Taped motivational courses? Because nothing screams 'inspiration' like a cassette tape!.
• Headline: MURDER CONFESSION IS LAID TO A BEATING. Impact: The revelation of police coercion in the De Feo case may have opened up a Pandora's box of wrongful convictions, leading to a world where everyone would start to question their local law enforcement – oh wait, that happened.. Fact: Amityville is probably the most famous house for being haunted by both ghosts and the legal system..
• Headline: Bill Would Raise Fines for Pollution. Impact: If the pollution fines hadn't been raised, NYC might have evolved into a smog-filled dystopia, where residents are required to wear gas masks and carry air filters everywhere. But hey, at least the fines made some cash!. Fact: Generating $2 million from pollution fines? That’s one way to profit off of our bad habits!.
• Headline: Art: The Voluptuous Benignity of Nepal Bronzes. Impact: Rosenquist’s bronzes could have sparked a new art movement that glorifies the mundane – like a bronze of a traffic cone that becomes a landmark. Oh wait, that already happened!. Fact: Art reviews are like fine wine; they get better with age but still leave you with a headache..