SEPTEMBER 20, 1975

Full News Archive

• Headline: Army's Silent Shellfish Cover-Up Revealed. Impact: When the Army disclosed these cover-ups, it set off a chain reaction where every conspiracy theorist suddenly thought they were right about everything, from aliens to the lost city of Atlantis. Imagine a world where every random internet troll suddenly had a 'PhD in Cover-Ups'.. Fact: Did you know that one gram of deadly shellfish can kill 5,000 people? So next time you think about ordering shellfish at a restaurant, maybe reconsider your life choices..
• Headline: Former Shelter Island Ferry Moves to Maryland. Impact: The former Shelter Island ferry becoming a car ferry in Maryland somehow led to a nationwide obsession with converting everything into cars. Next thing you know, we'll have car trains and car bicycles.. Fact: Did you know that ferries are like the original Uber, but with more waves and less app? Just think about that next time you complain about surge pricing..
• Headline: Nixon's Bar Resignation Rejected. Impact: Nixon's failed bid to resign from the State Bar resulted in a long-standing tradition where politicians try to avoid accountability, leading to years of 'not my fault' excuses and the invention of the term 'alternative facts'.. Fact: Did you know that Nixon's greatest legacy might just be teaching politicians how to dodge consequences? Thanks, Watergate!.
• Headline: Abzug Supporters Adopt Revised Buckley Slogan. Impact: The adoption of a revised slogan by Abzug supporters sparked a wave of political slogans that would later contribute to the invention of hashtags. Yes, the digital age owes a lot to political campaigns.. Fact: Did you know that political slogans are the original tweets? Short, catchy, and often completely misleading!.
• Headline: First Federal Arrest Is Made in School Busing Strife in Boston. Impact: The arrest in the Boston school busing strife turned a local issue into a national debate, ultimately leading to a series of policies that made everyone feel good about doing nothing. Thanks for that, America!. Fact: Did you know that sometimes, the most dangerous thing in a school is not the busing system, but the lunchroom mystery meat?.
• Headline: LISBON INSTALLS COALITION CABINET AFTER LONG CRISIS. Impact: The installation of a coalition cabinet in Portugal showed the world that political crises can be resolved, but it also led to a worldwide trend of politicians using the phrase 'we're all in this together' while conveniently forgetting to share the snacks.. Fact: Did you know that coalition governments are just like group projects in school? Everyone pretends to work together, but someone always does the heavy lifting while everyone else takes the credit..
• Headline: ‘It's Over’ for 2 Wrongly Held 12 Years. Impact: The release of Wilbert Lee and Freddie Pitts after 12 years in prison became a rallying cry for justice reform, ultimately inspiring a legion of activists who realized that sometimes, it’s better to be loudly wrong than quietly right.. Fact: Did you know that being wrong for 12 years could lead to a career in politics? Just ask any former politician!.
• Headline: Former Shelter Island Ferry Now Carries Cars in Maryland. Impact: Again with the ferry! This headline just proves that every time you think a ferry can't get more versatile, it does. The ripple effect? Soon every body of water will be filled with ferries doing the most improbable things.. Fact: Did you know that ferries have feelings too? Just kidding, but that would certainly add drama to ferry operations!.
• Headline: C.I.A. Suit Opposed. Impact: The CIA's surveillance of mail brought about a new era of privacy concerns, leading to the creation of secure email services that still get hacked on a regular basis. Thanks, CIA, for setting the bar so high!. Fact: Did you know that the CIA could probably write a bestselling novel titled 'How to Watch Your Mail Without Anyone Knowing'? Spoiler: It involves a lot of cover and surveillance!.