SEPTEMBER 2, 1975

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sizemore Hearing Resumes on September 8. Impact: If Sizemore had resigned peacefully, her supporters might have taken it as a cue to storm the Capitol with glitter bombs, leading to a political movement that champions sparkly resignation parties.. Fact: Barbara Sizemore was an educational reformer. If only her adversaries had tried to reform their tactics instead of just trying to get her out..
• Headline: Chrysler's Historic Smog Fine Payment. Impact: Chrysler's $328,400 smog fine led them to invest in cleaner technologies, which then birthed the eco-friendly car revolution. Who knew pollution could be a catalyst for change?. Fact: Chrysler’s fine was the highest ever at the time. It’s like they got a ‘World’s Best Polluter’ trophy, but you know, without the actual trophy..
• Headline: Socialist Party Nominates Frank Zeidler in 1976. Impact: If Zeidler had won, the socialist movement might have gained enough momentum to inspire a new trend of 'democratic socialism' that could have made brunch discussions really awkward.. Fact: Frank P. Zeidler was actually a pretty decent mayor. He might have given socialism a better name if the voters had just been listening instead of planning their next barbecue..
• Headline: MINERS IGNORE FINE; WALKOUT CONTINUES. Impact: The miners' defiance could have inspired future labor movements worldwide, leading to a global 'Union of the Defiant,' where fines are just badges of honor.. Fact: Ignoring a $500,000 fine is like a teenager ignoring their parents’ rules. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn’t end well..
• Headline: Dallas Ex‐Police Chief Alleges An F.B.I. Cover‐Up on Oswald. Impact: The cover-up allegations about Oswald could have led to a series of conspiracy theories that might have birthed a new genre of 'historical fiction' where everyone is a suspect.. Fact: The FBI had a knack for keeping secrets, which is ironic because you’d think they would have mastered the art of not getting caught..
• Headline: The Story Beneath the Non‐Story. Impact: Bagdikian’s insights on government influence might have sparked a renaissance of journalistic integrity, leading to a future where journalists actually reported facts instead of opinions.. Fact: Suppression of news is like putting a sock in a blender. It makes a horrible mess that everyone eventually has to clean up..
• Headline: Experts See Loss of Israeli Military Advantages. Impact: The loss of military advantages for Israel could have led to a new strategy of diplomacy, turning former foes into awkward dinner guests at peace talks.. Fact: The military advantage is like having the best seat at a concert; once it's gone, everyone is just standing in line for overpriced drinks..
• Headline: Libyan President Assails The Israeli‐Egyptian Pact. Impact: Qaddafi's threats against dissenters may have unintentionally inspired a secret society of dissenters who met each week to plot their next 'in-your-face' protest.. Fact: Qaddafi’s speeches often sounded like a mix of a motivational speaker and a really angry uncle at Thanksgiving. You never knew which way it would go..