AUGUST 5, 1975

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discovery of Hadrian's Statue in Israel. Impact: Hadrian's statue inspired countless future brokers to dig in fields instead of just digging through stock options. Who knew that bronze could lead to such a bronze-age of finance?. Fact: Hadrian was known for building walls, but his statue seems to have built quite the wall of secrecy around amateur archeology!.
• Headline: Kunstler Jailed at Little Trial Incident. Impact: Kunstler's brief jail time sparked a chain reaction of legal protests, leading to lawyers across the U.S. claiming a two-hour jail experience was a 'rite of passage.'. Fact: Little did they know, every time someone claims 'contempt of court,' a lawyer somewhere gets their wings..
• Headline: BEAME DISCOUNTS NEED FOR REVIEW OF CITY BY M.A.C.. Impact: Mayor Beame's council formation led to a cascade of similar councils, resulting in a future where every neighborhood had a 'Management Council' to decide who gets the last donut.. Fact: This is how the phrase 'let's form a committee' became a euphemism for procrastination in NYC!.
• Headline: A Canadian Cold Front Breaks Heat Wave Here With Storms,. Impact: The Canadian cold front not only broke the heat wave but also paved the way for future debates about global warming, with everyone pointing fingers at the neighbor's BBQ.. Fact: In a bizarre turn of events, the loss of water during this crisis was later cited as a reason why water balloons became a summer staple!.
• Headline: McGovern Won't Run; Key Advisers Opposed. Impact: McGovern's indecision to run led to future candidates mastering the art of saying nothing while still getting headlines—it's a real skill that still haunts us today!. Fact: Senators claiming they won’t run is essentially political yoga; they bend and stretch their statements to fit any occasion!.
• Headline: POWER CUTBACKS CALLED UNLIKELY. Impact: Con Ed's confidence in power reserves led to a future where everyone believes that electricity will always flow freely, until it doesn't, and then everyone panics and blames the weather.. Fact: The idea that power cutbacks were 'unlikely' was the precursor to the classic 'I thought you said it wouldn't rain!' excuse..