JUNE 11, 1975

Full News Archive

• Headline: Resurgence of Corporate Advertising in 1975. Impact: The resurgence of corporate ads in the 2nd half of '75 led to the birth of the modern marketing guru, who now spends their days convincing you that you need a new gadget every week. Thanks a lot, John Doriss!. Fact: Corporate ads are like cockroaches; no matter how hard you try to get rid of them, they just keep coming back!.
• Headline: Understanding Aid's Impact on NYC. Impact: The creation of the Municipal Assistance Corp saved NYC from bankruptcy, leading to a future where the city becomes a model for other cities... right before they all start declaring bankruptcy in the 80s. Whoops!. Fact: Despite sounding like a superhero, the Municipal Assistance Corp can't actually leap tall buildings in a single bound. It just helps cities avoid economic catastrophe..
• Headline: $22,000 Political Gift from Lockheed. Impact: Lockheed's $22,000 'legal' political contribution abroad opened the floodgates for corporate influence in politics, leading to a future where companies get to vote... wait, that's illegal... but it sure feels like it sometimes!. Fact: In some countries, $22,000 is just the price of a decent dinner for corporate lobbyists. Bon appétit!.
• Headline: AIM OF RABIN TRIP IS BETTER U.S. TIES. Impact: Rabin's trip to strengthen U.S.-Israel ties set off a series of diplomatic dances that would continue for decades, where leaders twirled around each other like awkward prom dates avoiding eye contact.. Fact: The only thing more complicated than U.S.-Israel relations is trying to figure out how to assemble IKEA furniture without a meltdown..
• Headline: The Report: Ending a ‘Massive’ Hang ‐ Up. Impact: The CIA's 'massive' hang-up report revealed the agency's questionable activities, triggering a wave of skepticism about secret operations that would lead to future generations believing that every government agency is up to no good.. Fact: The CIA's motto could easily be, 'In secrecy we trust, but we also mess up a lot.'.
• Headline: DOCTORS RESUME HOSPITAL DUTIES. Impact: Doctors resuming hospital duties after a slowdown meant that patients could finally receive the care they desperately needed, all while the medical professionals learned that taking a stand is great, but so is getting paid.. Fact: Doctors taking a work slowdown is just their version of a temper tantrum, except with more medical jargon and fewer toys..
• Headline: Democrats Accuse President of Avoiding Major Questions in C.I.A. Investigation. Impact: Democrats accusing President Ford of dodging questions in the CIA investigation made political theater a new art form, giving rise to a tradition of politicians mastering the art of talking without saying anything at all.. Fact: In politics, dodging questions is known as 'the dance of the dodgers'—and let me tell you, it’s a choreography that never gets old!.
• Headline: Scott and Rhodes Accuse Democrats of Stalling. Impact: Scott and Rhodes accusing Democrats of stalling led to an endless cycle of blame in Congress, ensuring that political drama would continue to be more entertaining than any soap opera ever aired.. Fact: Political stalling is like watching paint dry—if the paint was also throwing tantrums and blaming other cans of paint for its problems..