DECEMBER 20, 1974

Full News Archive

• Headline: NYC Officer Arrested for Marijuana Possession. Impact: Ptl Thomas Connell's arrest for marijuana possession led to a series of events where police departments across America began to reconsider their approach to drug-related offenses, ultimately sparking debates about legalization that would affect voting patterns and lead to the creation of a new industry. Who knew a little green could change the world?. Fact: Did you know that marijuana was once considered a 'miracle drug' for various ailments? Now it seems it just cures boredom for some people in uniform..
• Headline: Cuomo Appointed as Secretary of State. Impact: Cuomo's appointment as Secretary of State set off a political chain reaction that led to increasingly convoluted judicial reforms, culminating in a future where judges are elected based on social media popularity. Watch out, TikTok judges!. Fact: Did you know that in the future, some people take their court cases to reality TV shows? Who needs judges when you have drama?.
• Headline: Plans Approved For Tall Building At Lincoln Center. Impact: The approval for a tall building at Lincoln Center paved the way for the modern skyscraper trend, which would eventually lead to the world being filled with buildings that look like they were designed by a toddler with a crayon and a caffeine addiction.. Fact: Did you know that if you stack all the tall buildings in NYC, you could reach the moon? Just kidding, please don’t try that at home..
• Headline: SENATE CEREMONY. Impact: Rockefeller's swearing-in ceremony began the tradition of televised political events, setting the stage for future politicians to prioritize their hair and makeup over policy. Welcome to the age of politics as performance art!. Fact: Did you know that in the future, politicians will spend more time on Instagram than in actual meetings? Welcome to democracy 2.0!.
• Headline: Stage: ‘Where's Charley?’ Is Revived. Impact: The revival of 'Where's Charley?' led to a resurgence in live theater, inspiring a future generation of actors to flock to Broadway, which in turn resulted in a shortage of coffee in the area as stagehands fueled their caffeine addictions. Seriously, Broadway could run on coffee alone.. Fact: Fun fact: The future will see a Broadway musical about coffee itself, complete with tap-dancing baristas!.
• Headline: U.S AID EXPECTED TO OPEN JOBS HERE. Impact: Passage of the Emergency Jobs Act led to an influx of public service jobs, which then caused a ripple effect of increased tax revenue that eventually funded the construction of a giant statue of a job applicant holding a coffee cup. Because why not celebrate mediocrity?. Fact: Did you know that in the future, public service jobs will be so ubiquitous that people will start applying for 'professional line stander' positions? It’s a tough world out there!.
• Headline: A 16‐Year Political Career With White House in Mind. Impact: Nelson A Rockefeller's political career ambitions inspired countless aspiring politicians to chase after power, resulting in a future filled with candidates who are more concerned about their brand than actual governance. Because who needs policies when you have hashtags?. Fact: Fun fact: In the future, political debates will be more like fashion shows. Just wait until you see the runway walk!.
• Headline: $2.6‐Million Bail Is Set In $130,000 Bribe Case. Impact: The hefty bail set in the bribe case highlighted corruption in law enforcement, leading to a future where people will start making memes about 'Bail Money' being the new currency. Watch out, Bitcoin!. Fact: Did you know that in the future, some bail amounts will be so absurd that they become trending topics? #BailOut!.