NOVEMBER 21, 1974

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rockefeller Aides In Commutation Scandal. Impact: The delay in this vote led to a series of increasingly ridiculous political maneuvers that resulted in the invention of the modern-day filibuster. If only they had just voted, the world could have been spared endless hours of politicians reading phone books. Fact: Did you know that if you take all the time spent in political delays and converted it to coffee breaks, you could caffeinate the entire population of Congress for a year?.
• Headline: Investigating Organized Crime's Business Ties. Impact: This testimony about organized crime in business investments ultimately led to a series of crime dramas on TV, where viewers were convinced they actually understood the intricacies of mob finance. Spoiler alert: they didn't. Fact: Fun fact: The real organized crime is how many hours we spend watching shows about organized crime instead of doing literally anything else.
• Headline: City Council Vote Blocked by Absenteeism. Impact: This lack of attendance triggered a city-wide movement for mandatory attendance in meetings that ultimately led to the invention of an app that reminds politicians to show up to work. Who knew tech could solve such ancient problems?. Fact: In a shocking twist, only 4 out of 11 council members showed up, proving that 'showing up is half the battle' is more of a guideline than a rule.
• Headline: U.N. Unit Backs Pakistani Plan For South Asia Atom‐Free Zone. Impact: This vote was the catalyst for a million memes about the idea of a nuclear-free zone, which ironically made people more aware of nuclear weapons than ever before. Thanks, irony!. Fact: Ironically, the only thing that exploded after this resolution was the amount of paperwork in the U.N. office—because you can’t have a meeting about peace without a mountain of paperwork!.
• Headline: Advertising. Impact: This lawsuit over a simple business move led to a chain reaction of corporate espionage stories that were so sensationalized they could have been plot twists in a soap opera. Fact: Suing over stockholder rights is like fighting over the last slice of pizza at a party—always messy, often dramatic, and usually involves someone’s deep-seated issues with sharing.
• Headline: Macy's Executive Named Transit Safety Supervisor. Impact: This appointment led to a new trend of retail executives tackling public safety, paving the way for future ‘Safety Supervisors’ who might as well just wear capes and call themselves superheroes. Fact: Did you know that the position was created after someone realized that ensuring customer safety in a store is a lot easier than keeping them safe on a moving subway? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Seabee Faces Trial for Pie‐Throwing. Impact: This incident led to an unexpected rise in pie-related humor in military circles, with future recruits considering ‘pie-throwing’ as a viable form of protest, much to the confusion of their superiors. Fact: A little-known fact: The military had to implement a new rule—no dessert items at disciplinary hearings—after this incident. Who knew a pie could cause so much trouble?.
• Headline: Nation's No. 1 Utility An Investor Favorite. Impact: This article sparked a trend of people investing in utilities, leading to a generation of financial advisors who think ‘boring’ is a strategy rather than a lifestyle choice. Fact: Fun fact: AT&T’s antitrust lawsuit is like a bad relationship—everyone knows it’s toxic, but nobody can seem to break free. At least someone is profiting off the drama!.
• Headline: Israelis Bury Four Victims Amid Grief, Anger, Shame. Impact: The tragic loss of these civilians underscored the ongoing conflict in the region, serving as a painful reminder of the human cost of violence and the deep-seated issues that continue to unravel peace efforts. Fact: In times of conflict, it's often the innocent who bear the greatest burden, reminding us all that peace is not merely the absence of war, but the presence of justice and understanding.