JULY 27, 1974

Full News Archive

• Headline: IRS Concedes Special Treatment for Nixon. Impact: If only Nixon had paid his taxes like everyone else, we might have avoided a timeline where 'Watergate' became synonymous with political scandals, leading to a string of reality TV shows that could have been avoided entirely. Just imagine a world without 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'—truly a missed opportunity.. Fact: Did you know that the IRS once had a special 'Nixon' category for tax penalties? It was like a VIP club, but instead of champagne, they served regret..
• Headline: Abundant Fresh Fruit Supply in NYC. Impact: The good fruit supply in NYC led to a surge in smoothie shops, which later became the go-to place for hipsters, consequently raising avocado toast prices to ridiculous heights. Thanks a lot, fresh fruit!. Fact: Fun fact: The last time fruit prices were this low, people wondered if it was a fruit conspiracy to distract us from the real issues, like why bananas don’t have more flavor..
• Headline: Cyprus Talks Nearly Collapse, British Diplomacy Prevails. Impact: The success of the Cyprus talks led to more diplomatic efforts, which eventually resulted in a series of international meetings that could have been summed up in a single group email. But hey, who doesn't love an excuse to travel?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'let's table this discussion' originated during diplomatic talks? It’s the polite way of saying ‘I’d rather watch paint dry.’.
• Headline: 1972 Nixon Threat To Dismiss Shultz Over I.R.S. Noted. Impact: Nixon's threat to dismiss Shultz may have led to a chilling effect on IRS independence, thus creating a timeline where IRS agents began wearing superhero capes in a desperate attempt to save their reputation.. Fact: Did you know that during this meeting, the atmosphere was so tense you could cut it with a knife? Too bad they didn't opt for a pizza party instead..
• Headline: School‐Integration Order Here Softened. Impact: The softening of the school integration order opened the door for endless debates about education policies, resulting in a timeline where school board meetings became the new reality show for bored parents.. Fact: Did you know that school integration debates are the adult version of 'he said, she said'? Just with more paperwork and fewer snacks..
• Headline: Court Puts a Limit on Picketing for Game Today. Impact: The court's decision on picketing set a precedent that may have led to the rise of protest signs featuring clever puns. Because who doesn't want to be witty while fighting for their rights?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'No picketing' is often interpreted as 'Let’s take a break and discuss how to properly make a sign'?.
• Headline: NIXON IS CONFIDENT, PRESS AIDE ASSERTS. Impact: Nixon's confidence in vindication might have inspired future politicians to exude false bravado in the face of scandal, leading to today’s political environment where everyone is just one tweet away from a meltdown.. Fact: Did you know that confidence can sometimes be mistaken for competence? Just ask any reality TV star..
• Headline: Car Part Maker Stayed to Hold Skilled Force. Impact: Wenzel's decision to stay in Brooklyn may have contributed to the gentrification of the area, ultimately resulting in a coffee shop on every corner and skyrocketing rent prices. Thanks for that, John!. Fact: Did you know that Brooklyn was once known for its affordability? Now it's known for its artisanal pickles and overpriced rent—talk about a glow-up!.
• Headline: Kalmbach Told Panel of a Talk With Dr. Farkas. Impact: Kalmbach's testimony about Dr. Farkas's donation sparked debates around political funding that still echo today, leading to a timeline where billionaires might as well have their names on school buildings.. Fact: Did you know that giving large donations to political campaigns is basically the adult version of ‘I’ll give you a dollar if you let me win this game’?.