DECEMBER 22, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Melinda Reed and Kennett Love's Iconic Wedding. Impact: The wedding of Melinda Reed and Kennett Love inspired a generation of couples to exchange vows in front of the ancient pyramids. This ultimately led to a spike in travel agencies promoting 'Ancient Wonders Weddings,' which are now considered wildly overpriced. Fact: Did you know that while they were getting married, the pyramids were probably just as confused about love as the rest of us?.
• Headline: Soviet Six Claims Izvestia Cup Victory. Impact: The Soviet Six winning the Izvestia Cup led to an unexpected diplomatic thaw—because who could argue with a nation that can skate like that? It also inadvertently inspired future generations of hockey players to adopt a more theatrical approach to the game. Fact: Hockey: the only sport where 'checking' is an acceptable form of social interaction. Just ask the Soviet Six!.
• Headline: Music: A Storm No More. Impact: The concert at Avery Fisher Hall was so mind-blowingly good that it created a ripple effect of people deciding to attend symphonies instead of staying home on weekends. This led to a nationwide shortage of popcorn at theaters. Fact: A good concert can make you feel like you've discovered a new planet. Just remember, it’s still the same planet, and your neighbors still hate your late-night violin practice.
• Headline: Anger in a British Mining Town. Impact: The anger in Coalville sparked a labor movement that would eventually be remembered for its role in labor rights, but not before giving rise to countless 'angry miner' memes that would echo through time. Fact: In a town where 80% of families rely on coal mining, you can bet that 'miner's union meetings' are just code for 'let's complain about our jobs while enjoying a pint.'.
• Headline: Physician to Astronauts Will Head Health Center. Impact: Dr. Berry moving to the health center led to a surge in astronaut health protocols, which in turn inspired a generation of space enthusiasts to prioritize their health—because who wants to be the astronaut who can't make it back?. Fact: In space, no one can hear you scream... unless you have a medical emergency, in which case, Dr. Berry is your best shot at not becoming a meme.
• Headline: A DELAY IS SOUGHT ON OIL ALLOCATION. Impact: The Nixon administration's request for a delay in oil allocation rules ended up creating a new bureaucratic nightmare, where 'urgent' requests became the standard operating procedure for getting anything done—welcome to the 21st century!. Fact: The only thing more convoluted than oil allocation rules is trying to explain them to your grandmother. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Senate Votes Energy Bill; Oil Profits Curb Dropped. Impact: The Senate voting on the energy bill changed highway travel forever, resulting in a generation of road trips where the speed limit was more of a suggestion, leading to the birth of the phrase 'Just a little over the limit!'. Fact: 55 mph: the speed limit so exhilarating it might as well be a roller coaster ride. Just don’t forget to check your fuel gauge!.