NOVEMBER 15, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ford's Voting Record Under Fire. Impact: Had Ford not been criticized, he might have been emboldened to take an even more conservative stance, possibly leading to a nationwide obsession with plaid suits and the phrase 'safety over freedom' echoing through history.. Fact: Did you know that Ford was once a model? Clearly, he thought he could just model his way through politics too..
• Headline: Krogh's Legal Battle Against Nixon's Defense. Impact: This kerfuffle might have led to a series of ‘Nixon Stand’ merchandise like t-shirts and mugs, ultimately resulting in a brand of coffee called 'Watergate Brew' that would dominate the 80s.. Fact: Did you know that 'Krogh' sounds suspiciously like 'crog,' which is an old English term for a badger? Perhaps they should have used badgers as attorneys instead..
• Headline: Doctor’s Shooting Triggers FBI Investigation. Impact: The attack on Dr. Snyder might have ultimately changed the way mental health professionals approach security, leading to the creation of the first 'Psychiatrist with a Bodyguard' reality TV show.. Fact: Unfortunately, this incident highlights the serious risks mental health professionals face, a stark reminder that therapy can be a dangerous business..
• Headline: U.S. and China Are Closer To Full Diplomatic Ties. Impact: This diplomatic move may have inadvertently inspired a future where U.S.-China culinary fusion restaurants became all the rage, leading to the popularization of 'General Tso's Sushi.'. Fact: Did you know that Kissinger's diplomacy was so smooth people still wonder if he secretly taught Confucius a thing or two about negotiation?.
• Headline: Schiaparelli Dies in Paris; Brought Color to Fashion. Impact: Schiaparelli's death could have led to a world devoid of avant-garde fashion, resulting in a timeline where everyone wore beige and khakis forever.. Fact: Did you know that Schiaparelli was known for her shocking pink color? Not to be confused with shocking pink slip notices, which are far less fashionable..
• Headline: U.S.I.A. SAYS SCANDAL SHOWS FREE SOCIETY. Impact: This statement might have ironically paved the way for future politicians to use scandals as marketing tools, leading to the rise of the 'Scandal for Votes' strategy that still plagues us today.. Fact: Did you know that the USIA was essentially the PR wing of the government? Because nothing says transparency like a PR agency trying to convince you everything is fine..