SEPTEMBER 23, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Trade Relations with the USSR Debated. Impact: Dr. Hammer's bold declaration about the USSR being an 'unreliable partner' led to a chain reaction where every future diplomat felt the need to spice up their negotiations with more drama than a soap opera. It’s how we ended up with a lot of awkward summit meetings and even more awkward handshakes.. Fact: Did you know that calling a superpower 'unreliable' is basically the 1970s version of swiping left on Tinder? It’s all fun and games until someone gets their feelings hurt..
• Headline: Thriving Small-Town Newspapers in NJ. Impact: The success of small-town weeklies inspired a new wave of community journalism that made everyone think they could be the next Woodward and Bernstein. Spoiler alert: most of them just report on bake sales.. Fact: Small-town newspapers have the same effect as a warm cup of coffee on a winter morning—great for local gossip and absolutely necessary to keep you awake during the long stretches of nothingness..
• Headline: COMMON MARRET SEES MORE UNITY. Impact: The EEC's pursuit of political and economic unity led to an experiment in bureaucracy that would eventually inspire future generations to create organizations that could meet and discuss the weather for hours on end.. Fact: The only thing more complicated than European Union regulations is trying to explain them to an American. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Waltz Me Around Again, Anouilh. Impact: Anouilh's play, 'The Waltz of the Toreadors,' became a cultural touchstone, leading to a series of existential crises in theatre students everywhere who couldn't figure out how to interpret it without sounding pretentious.. Fact: If you ever feel useless, just remember that you could have been one of the countless theatre critics trying to explain the meaning behind a hyper-dramatic waltz..
• Headline: A Job Without Pay, And Many Want It. Impact: The trend of unpaid trusteeships in libraries led to an epidemic of people trying to do good deeds while simultaneously wallowing in their own self-righteousness. Who knew that volunteering could come with so much existential dread?. Fact: Trusteeship: the art of being responsible for something important while not getting paid enough to justify the stress. Sounds like a dream, right?.
• Headline: Oyster Bay To Control Oil Storage Facilities. Impact: Oyster Bay's regulation of oil storage facilities sparked a nationwide movement toward environmental control, which eventually led to the rise of eco-warriors who think recycling is a competitive sport.. Fact: Regulating oil storage is just one step away from your town banning plastic straws. Next stop: mandatory composting!.
• Headline: AGNEW SETTING UP FUND FOR DEFENSE IF HE IS INDICTED. Impact: Agnew's potential indictment created a media frenzy that shifted the political landscape forever, proving that even a vice president could generate more drama than an entire season of 'The Real Housewives.'. Fact: In politics, setting up a defense fund is the equivalent of sending out a 'Help!' signal in Morse code. Spoiler alert: it rarely works..
• Headline: Catholic Schools Getting Judaica. Impact: The presentation of Judaica to Catholic schools sparked interfaith dialogues that led to more open discussions, which ultimately made Thanksgiving dinners awkward for generations of mixed-faith families.. Fact: Interfaith dialogue is just a fancy way of saying, 'Let's share our delicious food and try not to argue about whose faith is better before dessert.'.