SEPTEMBER 11, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Coast Guard Ends Search for Rumbough. Impact: If only D P Rumbough had chosen a safer hobby like competitive knitting, the Coast Guard might have been able to focus on more pressing issues, like finding the sock that's been missing in the laundry since 1998.. Fact: Dina Merrill was not just a socialite; she was also an accomplished actress. Ironically, her son’s disappearance could have inspired a tragic soap opera plot..
• Headline: U.S. Steel Price Increases Approved. Impact: The steel price increase led to a nationwide panic where everyone tried to hoard steel like it was toilet paper during a pandemic. In a twist of fate, this led to a black market for garden gnomes made of pure steel.. Fact: In the world of steel production, the phrase 'size matters' is often debated—especially when it comes to price hikes..
• Headline: New Unemployment Benefits in New Jersey. Impact: Extending unemployment benefits in New Jersey was like giving a kid a cookie before dinner—everyone felt good for a moment, but it didn’t solve the underlying issues. Who knew a cookie could lead to a state-wide sugar rush?. Fact: New Jersey's unemployment benefits have been extended so many times, they might as well come with a loyalty card..
• Headline: Advertising: Now GiftAmerica. Impact: GiftAmerica’s computerized gift-wiring system led to a future where people forgot how to write greeting cards altogether, resulting in a dystopian world where everyone communicates through emojis.. Fact: Western Union once had a monopoly on sending money, but now they’re just trying to keep up with the 'too many apps' competition..
• Headline: Vatican Envoys Said to Urge Pursuing China Ties. Impact: The Vatican’s push for ties with China might have inadvertently sparked a series of diplomatic meetings that led to secret pizza parties. Because nothing says diplomacy like sharing a slice of pepperoni.. Fact: The Vatican has its own diplomatic corps, proving that even the Pope needs a solid PR team..
• Headline: Phnom Penh Reports Landing By River Inside Contested City. Impact: The amphibious landing in Phnom Penh was like the ultimate surprise party gone wrong—one minute you’re swimming, the next you’re dodging bullets. Talk about a wild weekend getaway!. Fact: Cambodian history is filled with unexpected twists, much like a soap opera, but with more actual drama..
• Headline: African Nations Put Drought Needs at $827‐Million. Impact: The $827-million drought aid request led to an avalanche of sympathy and promises, but in the end, it turned into a game of 'who can send the least while pretending to care the most.'. Fact: Droughts can lead to some serious humanitarian crises, but they also inspire a surprising number of fundraising galas—because who doesn’t love a good charity dinner?.