JULY 12, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Firestone Executive Kidnapped in Argentina. Impact: The ransom paid for J R Thompson not only funded the guerrilla's next grand adventure but also led to a spike in corporate ransom insurance policies, which made companies think, 'Why not pay a fortune for our executives to go on a vacation they didn’t sign up for?'. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'revolutionary tax' is just another way of saying 'we'll take your money, and you can call it whatever you want.'.
• Headline: General Sidle Appointed in Texas. Impact: Maj Gen W Sidle's new post created a butterfly effect that led to a chain of promotions, office parties, and an unfortunate increase in bureaucratic jargon like 'readiness' and 'synergy' that still haunts us today.. Fact: Did you know that 'Seventh Reserve Readiness Region' sounds way cooler than it actually is? It's basically a glorified waiting room for soldiers..
• Headline: Divorce Filed by Ex-P.O.W. Wife. Impact: Capt L Profilet's divorce led to a series of P.O.W.s realizing that freedom is great, but have you tried not being married? This inspired the phrase 'better single than a captive spouse' which is now a popular motto in modern dating.. Fact: It's ironic that the first P.O.W. to step off a plane became a former husband. Guess freedom doesn't always come with a marriage certificate!.
• Headline: Papadopoulos Acts to Spur Enthusiasm for July 29 Vote. Impact: Papadopoulos's efforts to spur voting enthusiasm inadvertently led to a national trend of politicians sending Cabinet members to pep rallies, which eventually resulted in the world’s first political motivational speaker—who mostly just yelled about taxes.. Fact: Nothing says democracy like sending 20 ministers to convince people to vote. What’s next, a marching band?.
• Headline: Midwest Governors Elect Exon and Conclude Meeting. Impact: The Midwest Governors' resolution to fund the Corps of Engineers somehow sparked a regional obsession with dams and power plants, ultimately leading to annual 'Dam Good Times' festivals that still confuse tourists.. Fact: Turns out, giving engineers more money just means they’ll have more time to create even more complicated diagrams no one understands..
• Headline: $3.06.Billion Is Authorized By Congress for NASA. Impact: Congress authorizing $3.06 billion for NASA sparked a space race so intense that it made future generations believe space travel was a feasible vacation option, leading to many disappointed tourists looking for Martian hotels.. Fact: Fun fact: That $3.06 billion would later be cited as the reason why your high school science lab had outdated equipment—you know, priorities..
• Headline: 2D DAY ON STAND. Impact: The Watergate hearings served as the ultimate reality show of the 70s, leading to a generation of Americans who realized that political drama is just as entertaining as scripted television, paving the way for the Kardashians.. Fact: It's fascinating how a simple break-in led to months of hearings and a lifetime of conspiracy theories. Talk about overreacting!.
• Headline: 122 Killed as Brazil Jetliner Crashes Just Short of Paris Airport. Impact: The tragic crash of the Brazilian jetliner not only devastated families but also led to stricter regulations in aviation safety, which made flying a lot less exciting for those who enjoyed the thrill of potential disaster.. Fact: Did you know that onion patches are now considered a safer landing zone than most airports? Just kidding, please don't use that as a travel tip..