JUNE 15, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: New York State Ends Fiscal Year Positive. Impact: If only Levitt had suggested an accounting system powered by time-traveling accountants, New York State might have avoided fiscal crises for decades. Who knew that a simple suggestion could have ripple effects through the ages, leading to a utopian finance system that never runs out of money?. Fact: Did you know that New York State’s budget discussions are basically just a bunch of people arguing over who gets to spend money they don't have?.
• Headline: Aspirin Makers Defend Advertising Claims. Impact: The aspirin makers' denial of false advertising led to an unending spiral of pharmaceutical marketing tactics, eventually culminating in the era of 'miracle cures' and influencers peddling dubious health advice on social media. Thanks, aspirin!. Fact: Did you know that without these aspirin disputes, we might have never gotten to the point where we have commercials for drugs more complicated than rocket science?.
• Headline: Magruder's Testimony on Watergate Scandal. Impact: Magruder's testimony was the proverbial pebble that started a landslide, leading to the eventual downfall of Nixon and a new era of skepticism about government. If only he had just taken up knitting instead.. Fact: Did you know that the Watergate scandal was so scandalous that it practically invented the genre of 'political thrillers'? You're welcome, Hollywood..
• Headline: People and Business. Impact: Mrs. Wells breaking the glass ceiling at Woolworth's sent shockwaves through the retail industry, resulting in a slow but eventual acceptance of diversity that led us to today’s overpriced coffee shops where everyone can feel included.. Fact: Did you know that Woolworth's was once considered the 'five-and-dime' store? Now, you can barely get a pack of gum for five bucks!.
• Headline: Beame and Badillo Disagree Sharply in First Debate. Impact: Beame and Badillo's debate was not just a clash of ideas; it set the stage for future political debates that would be more about soundbites than substance, paving the way for reality TV-style elections. Thank you, New York!. Fact: Did you know that political debates have become the modern equivalent of gladiatorial combat? Only instead of lions, we have fact-checkers..
• Headline: Exxon Is Accused by State Of Breach of Sale Contract. Impact: Exxon's breach of contract was the first domino in a chain reaction that would lead to endless lawsuits and regulations, ultimately resulting in today's gas prices making you question your life choices. Thank you, Exxon!. Fact: Did you know that Exxon is basically a household name now? Just like 'band-aid' but with a lot more lawsuits attached..
• Headline: Talk of Payola Inf luenced Metromedia. Impact: Metromedia's decision not to produce rhythm and blues because of payola rumors inadvertently led to a music industry renaissance where artists began expressing their frustrations through lyrics instead of cash. Who knew fear could spark creativity?. Fact: Did you know that payola is basically what happens when record companies want to keep their artists 'in line'? It’s like a musical mafia, but with less pizzazz..
• Headline: Kissinger Stresses Importance of Brezhnev's Visit. Impact: Kissinger's emphasis on Brezhnev's visit was a key moment in U.S.-Soviet relations, setting the stage for a dance of diplomacy that would go on to impact global politics for decades, proving that sometimes you just have to get along with your neighbors, even if they have a penchant for tanks.. Fact: Did you know that Kissinger’s hairdo was considered a national treasure? It was the only ‘do’ that could carry the weight of diplomacy..