JUNE 10, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Alabama Jury Selection Overturned. Impact: This ruling led to a series of reforms that eventually made jury selections as diverse as a box of crayons—except no one ever colored outside the lines again.. Fact: The last time someone tried to select jurors based on actual merit instead of race or income, they accidentally summoned a jury of retired circus performers. True story..
• Headline: NYC Delegation: Helpless Giant Dilemma. Impact: This 'helpless giant' moniker inspired NYC to create an underground delegation of superheroes. Spoiler: they still didn't get any funding.. Fact: In a shocking twist, the NYC delegation later discovered that the only thing more powerful than their collective impotence was the coffee in the break room..
• Headline: The Joy of Being Part of a Team. Impact: This play reminded everyone that teamwork makes the dream work—unless that dream involves being stuck in a room with your in-laws.. Fact: The term 'team player' was actually coined during a particularly intense game of Monopoly between friends who refused to trade properties..
• Headline: Laird Plans to Visit Italy And Germany This Week. Impact: Laird's European visit was the beginning of a long tradition of U.S. officials pretending to care about other countries’ opinions before ignoring them entirely.. Fact: During his trip, Laird accidentally ordered spaghetti in Germany and ignited a culinary debate that lasted for decades. Who knew carbs could be so controversial?.
• Headline: Suffolk To Vote On BOCES Centers. Impact: Building these centers transformed Suffolk County into an educational utopia—or at least a place where kids could avoid actual work for a few more years.. Fact: The proposed budget was so precise that it included a dollar for every time a student would complain about the classes being boring..
• Headline: Music Series Opens in Nassau. Impact: The music series at Roslyn became a gathering place for hipsters long before it was cool, planting the seeds for overpriced artisanal coffee shops.. Fact: The Great Neck Symphony once played a concert so loud that it was heard across three counties—an unintended audition for a future rock band..
• Headline: Rock Impresario Is a Success at 23. Impact: Scher’s success at 23 inspired a generation of kids to dream big by throwing caution to the wind and hoping for the best. Spoiler: it usually involved a lot of luck.. Fact: At 23, Scher was already more successful than most CEOs, leading to countless motivational posters featuring his face and the phrase 'Just wing it!'.
• Headline: Director Who Remembered To Bring Her Credentials. Impact: Cleary’s impeccable credentials inspired a wave of professionals to start carrying their resumes like shields, ready to fend off any criticism.. Fact: Catherine Cleary’s business acumen was so sharp that she could cut through red tape with a mere glance. It's rumored she’s still waiting for her superhero movie deal..