MARCH 16, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kitty Hawk Sailor Assault Conviction. Impact: If Seaman J L Rowe had just opted for a quiet evening instead of rioting, we might have avoided a series of Navy scandals that resulted in the popularization of the phrase 'What happens on the Kitty Hawk, stays on the Kitty Hawk' — a motto that sounds way more fun than it actually is.. Fact: The Navy once considered renaming the Kitty Hawk to 'The Floating Riot Club' after this incident, but they realized it wouldn’t sit well with the recruitment brochures..
• Headline: European Unity Post Monetary Crisis. Impact: The monetary crisis sparked a European unity movement that eventually led to the EU. If they had just stuck to bickering over who makes the best pastries, we might have avoided Brexit and all that delightful chaos.. Fact: The last time Europe was this unified, they decided to invade each other instead of forming trade agreements. Progress, right?.
• Headline: NIXON SUGGESTS HIGHCOURT RULING ON REFUSING DATA. Impact: Nixon's legal musings set off a chain reaction that led to countless legal dramas in the White House, making it the original inspiration for every political thriller, reality show, and courtroom drama since.. Fact: Nixon's idea of 'double privilege' refers to the fact that he had two ways of avoiding accountability. If only we could all get that kind of privilege in our daily lives!.
• Headline: Capitalism, for Better or Worse. Impact: The discussion on capitalism ignited debates that fueled both the rise of tech start-ups and the inevitable bubble bursts, leading to a generation of entrepreneurs who think they can 'disrupt' anything — including common sense.. Fact: Prof W Leontief's insights into capitalism were so profound that they were considered the original 'TED Talk' before TED was even a thing..
• Headline: Ulster Opposition Protests the Arrest Of One of Its Aides. Impact: The protests following O'Hanlon's arrest eventually led to increased tension in Northern Ireland, proving once again that throwing stones rarely leads to productive dialogue, but does make for great news headlines.. Fact: If only O'Hanlon had chosen to throw marshmallows instead, there might have been a s’mores summit instead of a gun battle..
• Headline: Panama's Chief Denounces U.S. and Warns of ‘Violent Changes’. Impact: Panama's denouncement of the U.S. foreshadowed decades of complicated relations, proving that sometimes, calling someone out in public can lead to awkward Thanksgiving dinners.. Fact: Panama's chief could have just sent a passive-aggressive postcard instead, but where's the fun in that?.