FEBRUARY 13, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Leadership Transition at Kerr-McGee Corp. Impact: J.J. Kelly’s ascendance at Kerr-McGee Corp led to a series of corporate scandals that inspired a popular TV drama about the cutthroat world of oil executives, which in turn resulted in a surge of conspiracy theories about how many times a person can say 'synergy' in a meeting before it becomes a crime.. Fact: F.C. Love retired just in time to avoid the 'CEO Bingo' game that was sweeping corporate America. You know, the one where you check off buzzwords like 'paradigm shift' and 'value-added'..
• Headline: Power Shortages Looming in Summer 1973. Impact: The predicted power shortages in the summer of '73 led to the invention of the solar-powered fan, which later became a staple at every outdoor picnic and a serious contender for the title of 'Most Useless Invention' in the 21st century.. Fact: Power shortages are a lot like bad weather forecasts—everyone complains, but no one does anything until it’s too late. Maybe we should start forecasting with a magic 8-ball instead..
• Headline: Vietcong Say Saigon and U.S. Repeatedly Violate Cease‐Fire. Impact: The accusations of cease-fire violations set off a chain reaction that ultimately led to the overcomplicated rules of engagement in modern video games, where players now have to navigate a labyrinth of treaties and alliances just to shoot virtual arrows at each other.. Fact: In 1973, cease-fires were like the peace treaties of schoolyard fights—everyone pretended to agree, but the moment someone said 'You’re it!', all bets were off..
• Headline: Weinberger Is Sworn In, Completing New Cabinet. Impact: Weinberger's swearing-in marked the beginning of a series of cabinet reshuffles that became the blueprint for political reality shows, where viewers voted on who should stay and who should go, ultimately leading to the phrase 'You're fired!' entering the political lexicon.. Fact: Nixon swore in Weinberger while standing on the beach, possibly to distract everyone from the fact that he was still trying to figure out how to hide his own scandalous footprints..
• Headline: 225 Facing Loss of Jobs At Brookhaven Laboratory. Impact: The job loss at Brookhaven Laboratory eventually inspired a new wave of science fiction stories about rogue scientists and their evil experiments in underground lairs, which led to an increase in people taking science seriously... or at least watching more sci-fi movies.. Fact: Losing jobs at research institutions is like losing socks in the laundry—nobody really knows where they go, but everyone feels a little emptier inside..
• Headline: No‐Fault Auto Insurance Is Passed by Legislature. Impact: The passing of the no-fault auto insurance law led to a nationwide trend of people trying to find loopholes to avoid paying their premiums, which in turn inspired a slew of insurance memes that still circulate today, proving once again that laughter is the best way to cope with adulting.. Fact: No-fault insurance was like the adult version of 'everyone wins a trophy'. Except, you know, it just meant everyone was paying for someone else's mistakes..
• Headline: COURT AUTHORIZES AIRPORT GUARDS. Impact: The authorization of armed guards at airports set off a series of events that eventually led to the TSA 'Pat-Down Dance', which has become a rite of passage for travelers, proving that nothing says 'freedom' like being felt up by a stranger before your flight.. Fact: The first armed guards at airports didn’t realize they were starting a new trend in airport fashion—who knew tactical vests would be the next big thing?.