JANUARY 24, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: New York Seeks Full Abortion Access. Impact: The push for abortions at any time led to a ripple effect in women's rights movements worldwide, eventually causing a global shortage of 'My Body, My Choice' t-shirts. Who knew fashion could be so political?. Fact: Did you know that in some parts of the world, discussions about women's reproductive rights still sound like they're stuck in a time warp? It's as if time travelers went to the 21st century and thought, 'Nah, let's just rewind to the 1950s instead.'.
• Headline: Initialing of Vietnam Truce Accord. Impact: Kissinger and Le Duc Tho's initialing of the Vietnam truce is like a cosmic game of telephone; one miscommunication later, and suddenly you have decades of conspiracy theories about secret wars and hidden agendas.. Fact: Did you know that initialing documents is basically like a toddler saying 'I promise'? It’s cute, but until you actually sign it, it’s all just pretend..
• Headline: SEC Proposes Exemption for Investment Advisors. Impact: The SEC's proposal to exempt small investor advisors led to a glorious age of 'trust me, I swear I'm legitimate' investment schemes, culminating in the creation of the first-ever 'Ponzi Scheme Starter Pack.'. Fact: Did you know that the SEC's regulations are like a long, boring movie? You know it’s supposed to be good for you, but half the time, you’re just waiting for the credits to roll..
• Headline: MITCHELL LINKED TO $199,000 FUND. Impact: The Watergate scandal's unfolding led to a unique American pastime: the art of avoiding accountability with a side of creative accounting. It’s like a really bad magic trick, where the only thing disappearing is trust in government.. Fact: Did you know that H.W. Sloan Jr. probably felt like he was auditioning for a role in a political thriller? Spoiler: he didn't get the part, but his life became a movie script anyway..
• Headline: Men in the News: Negotiators of Paris Cease‐Fire Agreement for Vietnam. Impact: Le Duc Tho's negotiations in Paris would later inspire countless movies about peace talks, some of which are so inaccurate that historians now consider them comedies. Seriously, when did the Vietnam War turn into a rom-com?. Fact: Did you know that Le Duc Tho was the only person to ever refuse the Nobel Peace Prize? Talk about commitment issues!.
• Headline: Vatican's Radio Criticizes Abortion Ruling by Court. Impact: The Vatican's criticism of the abortion ruling contributed to a long-standing tradition of religious institutions wading into political waters, inadvertently turning debates into Olympic-level events. Who knew moral high ground could be a competitive sport?. Fact: Did you know that the Vatican has its own radio station? They probably play a lot of 'Throwback Thursdays' featuring all the times they weighed in on everything from abortion to the best pizza toppings..
• Headline: HIGHER EARNINGS POSTED BY EXXON. Impact: Exxon’s earnings led to the creation of the phrase 'money talks'—and oh boy, did it start shouting. Their profits helped fuel a culture of consumerism that would make even Scrooge McDuck envious.. Fact: Did you know that Exxon’s profits could buy you a small island? Or at least a really nice yacht for your midlife crisis..
• Headline: Strike by Pilots for the C.I.A. In Laos Is Reportedly Averted. Impact: The CIA pilot strike averted meant that covert operations could continue without a hitch. It’s like when you dodge a family dinner—sure, nothing bad happened, but everyone knows it’s just a matter of time.. Fact: Did you know that CIA pilots probably have the most interesting coffee breaks? 'So, I can’t tell you what I did today, but let’s just say it involved a lot of sneaking around.'.
• Headline: Pathet Lao Says U.S. Sees Thailand as a ‘Springboard’. Impact: The Pathet Lao's condemnation of the U.S. role in Laos ignited a series of diplomatic slap fights that would echo through history, proving that international relations can be as dramatic as a high school cafeteria.. Fact: Did you know that calling Thailand a 'springboard for aggression' is just a fancy way of saying 'we're not fans of your trampoline technique' in diplomatic language?.
• Headline: Forest Products Gain. Impact: Georgia-Pacific's profits led to an increased demand for forest products, which, in turn, sparked a love affair with paper products that would result in the world's first-ever 'toilet paper shortage' in a panic—who could have predicted that?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'money doesn't grow on trees' is a total lie? Clearly, it does—at least if you're Georgia-Pacific!.