JANUARY 18, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: J T Lynn's HUD Sec Nomination Delay. Impact: This Senate delay on a nominee led to a historic chain reaction where people started to believe that appointments could actually be delayed. This eventually resulted in the establishment of 'Senate Napping' as an official sport.. Fact: Did you know that the Senate could make a sandwich faster than they can approve a nominee? Just a casual observation..
• Headline: Thieu's Objections to Truce Accord Negotiations. Impact: President Thieu's objections led to an endless loop of negotiations that turned into a reality TV show called 'Survivor: Truce Island,' where everyone was voted off before reaching an agreement.. Fact: Did you know the phrase 'I object' has been used more times in negotiations than in wedding ceremonies? Who knew?.
• Headline: McCormack, Redskin Aide, Named Eagles' Head Coach. Impact: McCormack's appointment as head coach led the Eagles to invent a new play called 'The Fumble,' which they used consistently for decades, causing fans to wonder if they were actually trying to win.. Fact: Did you know that the Eagles' playbook is thinner than most phone books? Just something to chew on while they fumble their way through a season..
• Headline: BLACK WINS PLEA ON BIAS OF JURORS. Impact: The Supreme Court ruling on juror bias led to a world where jury selection became a reality show, where contestants had to compete for their seats based on their knowledge of pop culture and their ability to hide their biases.. Fact: Did you know that jurors used to be selected based on their ability to stay awake during the trial? Now they have to be woke!.
• Headline: Saigon Aide Bars Accord With Vietcong as an Equal. Impact: The refusal to recognize the Vietcong's government led to a series of diplomatic faux pas, including the creation of a new holiday called 'Accord-Not-Day' where nations celebrate by not signing anything.. Fact: Did you know that refusing to acknowledge your neighbor is a classic strategy in international relations? It’s like the diplomatic version of ignoring someone at a party..
• Headline: U.S. Planes Step Up Attacks in the South. Impact: The US's increased airstrikes led to the creation of a new genre of music known as 'bombastic,' where artists would compose songs inspired by the sound of fighter jets. It peaked in the 80s.. Fact: Did you know that the sound of fighter jets has been declared an art form in some underground circles? Just goes to show, art really does imitate life… or is it the other way around?.
• Headline: And Now, Phase III. Impact: Phase III's economic controls led to a new trend of economic 'escape rooms' where people had to solve puzzles to escape inflation, thereby creating a new form of entertainment that still baffled economists.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than economic controls is trying to explain them to a toddler? Spoiler: they just want snack time..