JANUARY 14, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: Innovative Bagel Machine Revolutionizes Production. Impact: This bagel machine inadvertently led to the rise of the 'lazy breakfast' culture, where people now expect their food to be made by robots while they scroll through their phones.. Fact: Believe it or not, bagels are the only food that requires more engineering than your average car. Who knew carbs had such high standards?.
• Headline: The Young Meet the Old and Both Learn. Impact: This course led to a bizarre friendship between a college kid and a 90-year-old, resulting in the first-ever intergenerational TikTok influencer duo. The world was never the same.. Fact: It's fascinating to think that aging is just a gradual process of collecting more stories—and the occasional back pain to remind you of your youthful foolishness..
• Headline: Suffolk to Test New Potato. Impact: This new potato variety ultimately led to an explosive growth in potato-based memes, resulting in the internet's obsession with 'spud life' and an entire generation of potato enthusiasts.. Fact: Fun fact: The potato is the only vegetable that can make you feel both comforted and guilty at the same time. Thanks, French fries!.
• Headline: ‘Supercabinet’. Impact: Nixon’s defiance in reorganizing the cabinet sparked a series of ever-more convoluted government structures, leading to the modern-day 'Super Committee' that does... well, absolutely nothing.. Fact: Ever wonder what a 'Supercabinet' would look like? Probably just a bunch of people arguing over who gets the last donut in the break room..
• Headline: Low‐Polluting Car Developed by Pratt. Impact: This innovation sparked a wave of eco-friendly vehicles that ultimately led to the rise of hipster car enthusiasts who ironically drive the least practical vehicles imaginable.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more complex than the mechanics of a low-polluting car is explaining to your parents why you drive one instead of a 'real' car..