DECEMBER 19, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fed's Strategic Monetary Policy Decision. Impact: This monetary decision led to a series of financial regulations that ultimately resulted in the invention of the modern hedge fund. So, thanks to the Fed, your buddy's 'diversified' stock portfolio is now just a collection of bad decisions.. Fact: Did you know that 'hedging' originally referred to planting hedges to keep livestock from wandering? Now it just keeps your money from wandering into bad investments!.
• Headline: New Jersey Supreme Court Ruling on Lie-Detector Tests. Impact: This ruling about lie-detector tests opened the floodgates for a new era of courtroom drama, leading to countless episodes of 'Law & Order' where the only question was, 'Did they pass the test or is this just another plot twist?'. Fact: Lie-detector tests are about as reliable as your friend's 'I swear I only had one drink' claim. Spoiler: they probably didn’t..
• Headline: PHONE COMPANY SEEKS INCREASES OF $306‐MILLION. Impact: This rate hike request was the catalyst for the great coin shortage of the '80s. People hoarded coins like they were gold bars, thinking they might need them for future phone calls. Talk about a misplaced sense of value.. Fact: If you think a dime for a payphone call is steep, just wait until you see the price of a cup of coffee in 2040. Spoiler alert: it’s in the stratosphere..
• Headline: ‘Peace Is Possible,’ Pope Tells Leaders. Impact: The Pope's anti-drug crusade sparked a global movement that accidentally led to the rise of 'peaceful' drug-related memes. Who knew advocating against drugs would result in countless cat videos depicting 'peace'?. Fact: Did you know that the Pope's stance on drugs has been more consistent than most politicians’ stances on actual issues? At least he’s got a divine excuse!.
• Headline: G.M. Chief Asks U.S. to Alter Controls. Impact: This plea for control alteration was the first domino in the automotive industry's shift to 'blame the government' whenever they raise prices. Talk about a masterclass in deflection!. Fact: Fun fact: The more controls you have, the more creative companies get with their excuses. Who knew that car prices could be blamed on bureaucracy and not just bad management?.
• Headline: Communists Hint Bombing May Bring Breakoff in Paris Talks. Impact: This cryptic hint about bombing led to a series of miscommunications that ultimately made diplomatic talks more like a game of telephone—one with a very high-stakes outcome and a lot of confused parties.. Fact: Did you know that international diplomacy often resembles a soap opera? Just with more spies and fewer dramatic cliffhangers..