DECEMBER 16, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: San Diego Team's Uncertain Future. Impact: Had the San Diego team moved to Washington, DC, the local sports scene might have crumbled, leading to a butterfly effect where the city became known for knitting clubs instead of football. Who knew a decision about a sports team could change the fabric of American leisure activities?. Fact: Did you know that the biggest decision in sports history could hinge on a guy named B Bavasi? Sounds like a name from a bad sitcom..
• Headline: Rooney Family Acquires Green Mountain Park. Impact: The Rooney family buying Green Mountain Park could have led to a resurgence in local gambling, making Vermont the new Vegas. Who wouldn't want to roll the dice while admiring the Green Mountains?. Fact: Fun fact: $8.5 million is the price tag for a horse racing track, or a decent starter home in a good neighborhood. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Civil Rights Challenge Against Elks Lodge. Impact: L J Cornelius Jr's lawsuit could have sparked a nationwide revolution in civil rights, leading to Elks and Moose lodges across America being forced to open their doors to all. Who knew a bunch of old men playing cards could be so influential?. Fact: In an ironic twist, the Elks and Moose lodges are probably the only places where people think 'civil rights' is a cocktail special..
• Headline: Sabotage at Pnompenh. Impact: The sabotage in Phnom Penh could be seen as the catalyst for a series of mistrusts, leading to a decades-long conflict that would make anyone question the effectiveness of their local harbor security.. Fact: In war zones, 'rocket fire' is just another Tuesday. Who needs a holiday when you have dramatic explosions?.
• Headline: AT HOME ABROAD. Impact: A Lewis's article might have increased tensions between the US and Vietnam, leading to a never-ending game of political chess where everyone just pretends to play nice while eyeing each other's pawns.. Fact: Pres Thieu is often referred to as the 'obstacle,' which is ironic because in my experience, obstacles are usually just poorly placed furniture..
• Headline: Astronauts Will Get Raises Next Month. Impact: The Apollo 17 crew’s pay raise could have inspired subsequent astronauts to demand a raise for every time they float in zero gravity, leading to a new space economy where salaries are based on how many stars you can count.. Fact: Astronauts getting raises seems fair until you remember they get to float around in space while the rest of us are stuck in rush hour traffic..
• Headline: Presidential Electors Chosen by Koreans. Impact: The South Korean election of presidential electors could have been a pivotal moment towards a more democratic process, making the country a hotbed of political activism—or a case study in voter apathy.. Fact: Low voter turnout in South Korea was probably just everyone trying to find parking. Who knew democracy was so hard to park?.
• Headline: Ricord Is Convicted of Plot To Smuggle Drugs to U.S.. Impact: Ricord's conviction might have temporarily disrupted drug trafficking, but it also gave birth to a hundred copycat conspiracies that would lead to more bad crime movies than we care to admit.. Fact: Smuggling drugs in the 70s sounds like a plot twist in a B-movie. Spoiler alert: it never ends well for the protagonist..