DECEMBER 11, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Government Restructuring Under New Leadership. Impact: The wholesale house-cleaning of government posts led to a generation of bureaucrats who believed cleaning out a closet was just as effective as cleaning out corruption. Thanks, President, for inspiring countless office supply Yelp reviews. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'drain the swamp' was used long before it became a slogan? It actually referred to the messy paperwork in government offices!.
• Headline: Tax Task Force Targets Midtown Adult Venues. Impact: The establishment of a tax task force on midtown's 'adult' services inadvertently sparked a national fascination with tax loopholes, leading to the infamous 'write-off your adult entertainment expenses' trend. Bravo, NYC Finance!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'adult entertainment' encompasses everything from bookstores to peepshows? It's like a buffet of questionable life choices!.
• Headline: Soviet Dissidents Face Intense Repression. Impact: The repression of Soviet dissidents resulted in a renewed underground movement, which eventually inspired Hollywood to make a series of poorly-researched spy movies. Thanks, KGB, for the plot twists!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'dissident' comes from the Latin 'dissidere,' meaning 'to sit apart'? Ironically, that's where they often end up—sitting apart from the rest of society.
• Headline: TRADE BILL BACKED IN ADMINISTRATION. Impact: The trade bill backed by Nixon's administration kickstarted a trend of convoluted trade agreements that still baffle economists today. Little did they know they were laying the groundwork for the phrase 'trade war'. Fact: Did you know that most-favored-nation status means a country gets the same trade benefits as the best trading partner? Sounds like a fancy way of saying, 'You're all invited to the party, just don’t eat all the snacks!'.
• Headline: Drive to Pacify Southern Philippine Moslems Is Begun. Impact: The Philippine government's attempt to pacify southern Moslems led to a decades-long struggle that would inspire countless international peacekeeping missions, many of which failed spectacularly. Thanks for keeping us on our toes!. Fact: Did you know that Mindanao is home to some of the most beautiful beaches in the Philippines? Because, you know, nothing says 'let's negotiate peace' like a sunny vacation!.
• Headline: Peronist Candidate Slain. Impact: The assassination of the Peronist candidate sowed seeds of political unrest in Argentina that would echo through the decades, inspiring a series of dramatic telenovelas. Because nothing says 'politics' like a good murder mystery!. Fact: Did you know that political assassinations have inspired more plots than any writer could dream up? It's like the ultimate cliffhanger!.
• Headline: Thousands Finding Meditation Eases Stress of Living. Impact: The rise of meditation as a stress-relief technique ultimately paved the way for overpriced wellness retreats and a million Instagram influencers selling 'inner peace' for a fee. Namaste, capitalism!. Fact: Did you know that meditation was once seen as a fringe activity? Now, it's a multi-billion dollar industry! Who knew finding yourself could come with a price tag?.
• Headline: Shubert Empire Fighting a Financial Crisis. Impact: The Shubert Empire's financial crisis sparked a series of theatrical dramas that mirrored the highs and lows of Broadway, leading to a resurgence of musicals about struggling theaters. Cue the dramatic piano!. Fact: Did you know that Broadway has survived more crises than a soap opera? You'd think they'd have learned by now that drama belongs on stage, not in the bank!.