NOVEMBER 30, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Natural Gas Shortage Alarms F.P.C.. Impact: The natural gas shortage led to the Great Blanket War of 1974, where people fought over who got to keep warm. The phrase 'I’ll trade you my last bottle of soda for a blanket!' became a common negotiation tactic.. Fact: Did you know that in 1973, people discovered that layering sweaters actually works? Who knew warmth could be so fashionable?.
• Headline: Closure of Atomic Reactor Announcement. Impact: The closure of the atomic reactor triggered a nationwide 'Reactor Closure Support Group' movement, leading to the rise of nuclear activism and many awkward potlucks.. Fact: Did you know that some people thought closing the reactor would mean they could finally use the word 'nuclear' correctly at dinner parties? Spoiler: they still can’t..
• Headline: A Joint Task Force Is Proposed to Coordinate Federal and State Systems of Criminal Justice. Impact: This task force proposal led to the creation of a new genre of crime drama TV shows about federal and state justice agencies constantly bickering over jurisdiction. Ratings soared, and viewers learned that 'law' is a relative term.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'let's just coordinate' is often code for 'let's do absolutely nothing'?.
• Headline: CLARK ASKS A CURB IN DECENTRALIZING. Impact: Dr. Clark’s reversal on decentralizing schools resulted in a new educational philosophy called 'Centralized Chaos', where students learned through sheer confusion and surprise quizzes.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than decentralization is the average high schooler's understanding of geometry?.
• Headline: Rebels Fighting in South, Marcos Says. Impact: Marcos's speech about rebels inspired a new genre of action movies where the hero always had a mysterious foreign backing, leading to countless sequels and one-liners like 'I’ll be back… with backup!'. Fact: Did you know that Basilan Island became the unofficial set for every low-budget war movie in the '80s? No budget? No problem!.
• Headline: Cambodian War Enriches the Corrupt, Debases the Poor. Impact: The Cambodian war led to the rise of the 'Corruption Olympics', where government officials competed to see who could siphon the most funds while pretending to help the needy.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'war is hell' was coined in a totally different context, but it still fits perfectly here?.
• Headline: State Is Considering Managing Medicaid. Impact: The state's consideration to manage Medicaid resulted in a nationwide trend of bureaucratic meetings that lasted longer than the actual decisions being made. It became a classic tale of 'more meetings, less action'.. Fact: Did you know that 'considering' something is the adult version of 'let me think about it'? Spoiler: it usually means 'no'..
• Headline: Nixon and Mills Expected To Delay on Tax Reform. Impact: Nixon and Mills delaying tax reform sparked a nationwide movement of procrastination that lasted for decades—turning 'I’ll do it tomorrow' into a cultural cornerstone.. Fact: Did you know that the word 'reform' became synonymous with 'let's just keep talking about it until it's completely irrelevant'?.