SEPTEMBER 24, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Watergate: Unraveling the Truth. Impact: The Watergate scandal's unraveling not only brought down a president but also inspired decades of political thriller novels and conspiracy theories, some of which claim that aliens were involved. Spoiler alert: they weren't.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Watergate' has now been co-opted to describe any political scandal? So, if your local dog park closes because of a fence dispute, you might just be witnessing 'Doggate.'.
• Headline: Restoring Safety in New York City. Impact: As R. Daley's ideas on public morals in criminal justice spread, they inadvertently led to a nationwide trend of people trying to solve crime with interpretive dance. Spoiler: it didn't work.. Fact: Did you know that crime in NYC has fluctuated wildly since the 1970s? It's like a bad relationship—sometimes it gets better, and sometimes you just want to move far, far away..
• Headline: Documentary on Turnpike Widening Released. Impact: The NJ Turnpike's transformation inspired an entire generation to dream of wider roads, leading to the invention of 'road rage' as an Olympic sport. Who knew traffic could be so competitive?. Fact: Did you know the term 'superhighway' was coined to make drivers feel better about sitting in traffic? Because who doesn’t want to feel super while staring at the bumper in front of them?.
• Headline: Old‐Time L.I. to Go On View at Fair. Impact: The Suffolk Museum's festival brought nostalgia to the forefront, inspiring a wave of hipsters to start wearing old-timey clothes and pretending they enjoy candle-making.. Fact: Did you know that every time someone says 'old-timey,' a historian dies a little inside? But hey, at least they're not using the term 'vintage'—progress!.
• Headline: Paris Expected to Boycott Troop Talks. Impact: France's decision to boycott troop talks led to a series of European diplomatic mishaps, resulting in a secret recipe for croissants being leaked to the American public. Thanks, France!. Fact: Did you know that the French love to stage boycotts? It's practically a national sport, right up there with complaining about the weather and perfecting the art of the baguette..
• Headline: Criminals At Large. Impact: The review of Kiefer's book sparked a literary movement that glamorized criminals, leading to a rise in aspiring felons who thought they could write their way out of prison. Spoiler: they couldn't.. Fact: Did you know that every criminal thinks they're the protagonist in their own crime novel? Newsflash: you're not. You're just a plot twist nobody asked for..
• Headline: Change of Pace: ‘Children's Day’. Impact: Tarport Adios's victory led to an unexpected boom in childhood aspirations. Suddenly, every kid wanted to be a racehorse, leading to an influx of applications to equine colleges.. Fact: Did you know that horses have their own version of the Kentucky Derby? It's called 'The Neigh-tional,' and all the cool horses are in on it..
• Headline: A Crafts Fair Tied to Ecology. Impact: The crafts fair's eco-friendly ethos accidentally inspired a generation of people to start making their own soap, leading to a nationwide shortage of essential oils and some very confused bees.. Fact: Did you know that crafting is now a multi-billion dollar industry? Just think, while you were busy gluing macaroni to construction paper, you could have been a millionaire!.
• Headline: Young Shoplifters' Penalty: Stay in Court. Impact: Judge Burger's unorthodox ruling inspired a new wave of 'educational' sentencing, leading to the bizarre trend of courtroom dance-offs. Spoiler: nobody wins.. Fact: Did you know that teaching lessons in court is now a thing? Next up: 'How to Cook with Your Judge'—because who doesn’t want to bond over bad decisions and burnt toast?.