SEPTEMBER 10, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Upcoming Election Challenges in New Zealand. Impact: If the election had gone differently, New Zealand could have been the first country to implement a universal basic income, or alternatively, it might have become a testing ground for 'Extreme Weather Policies' that required citizens to wear snorkels during rainy seasons. Thank you, butterfly effect!. Fact: Did you know New Zealand was the first country to grant women the right to vote in 1893? And now they're just trying to figure out if they can vote without getting blown away by the wind!.
• Headline: Exploring Economic Inequality Debates. Impact: If Jencks’ study had been taken seriously, we might have avoided decades of political debates over socialism, leading instead to a world where everyone just shared their avocado toast and lived in peace. But, then again, who would profit off that?. Fact: Did you know that the wealthiest 1% of the world owns more than the rest of the population combined? So, basically, those avocado toast lovers are just hoarding the good stuff!.
• Headline: 1943 O.S.S. Study Called Hitler Weak and a Bully. Impact: Had this analysis been public sooner, maybe the Allies could have distracted Hitler with a therapy dog or a reality TV show. Imagine 'The Real Housewives of the Third Reich' - ratings would have been through the roof!. Fact: Did you know that historians often describe Hitler as a failed artist? It’s almost poetic that he could paint the world into chaos while struggling to color inside the lines..
• Headline: TIGERS THROTTLED BY GARDNER, LYLE. Impact: If the prediction about the Yankees had come true, it might have sparked a decade-long nationwide obsession with tiger wrestling as a new sport, leading to the rise of a bizarre reality show called 'Baseball vs. Big Cats'.. Fact: Did you know that the New York Yankees have more championships than any other Major League Baseball team? It’s almost like they have a winning formula—like bribing the universe with endless hotdogs!.
• Headline: Does big business really do us any harm—or good?; Economic Concentration; Structure, Behavior and Public Policy. By John M. Blair. 742 pp. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich. $16.95.. Impact: If Blair’s book had become a bestseller, we might have seen a wave of modern Robin Hoods - you know, tech moguls stealing from the rich and giving to... well, themselves, but at least with a charitable twist!. Fact: Did you know that the average CEO makes about 300 times more than their average employee? It’s almost like they found a cheat code in the game of life!.
• Headline: Future of the Fair Site Still Debated. Impact: If they had decided to preserve the site effectively, we could have witnessed a surge in 1960s nostalgia festivals where everyone wears polyester while discussing the merits of instant coffee. What a time to be alive!. Fact: Did you know that the 1964-65 World's Fair showcased the first Ford Mustang? Too bad the cars were more futuristic than the actual future of the fair site!.
• Headline: SUSAN'S GIRL, 3‐1, BELDAME VICTOR. Impact: If Susan's Girl hadn’t won, we could have been living in an alternate timeline where horses were the primary politicians, and debates were held in racetracks instead of Congress. 'And the winner is... the one with the fastest hooves!'. Fact: Did you know that horse racing has been around for thousands of years? It’s basically the original reality TV—only with less drama and more hay!.