AUGUST 22, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Court Order Resumes NY Times Operations. Impact: Had the NY Mailers Union not returned to work, the entire concept of newspapers might have been replaced by interpretive dance performances of current events. Imagine a world where headlines are expressed through jazz hands.. Fact: Did you know that the New York Times has a section dedicated to 'What is the news today?' which is basically just a fancy way of asking, 'Did anything interesting happen?'.
• Headline: Plumbing Inspectors Arrested for Bribery. Impact: This bribery case led to an intense crackdown on corruption in plumbing inspections, resulting in a national 'Pipes and Ethics' seminar that was about as riveting as it sounds.. Fact: Ironically, the plumbing industry has a long history of getting clogged up with corruption – perhaps they should have used more drain cleaner?.
• Headline: Internes Misuse Housing Allowance Revealed. Impact: The revelation that interns were cashing in on housing allowances prompted universities to create stricter regulations, leading to an entire generation of students who had to actually live in their dorms. Shocking, I know!. Fact: Fun fact: Living in a hospital sounds great until you realize the only thing you can binge-watch is medical dramas – and trust me, those interns were not getting a discount on the popcorn..
• Headline: STRICKMAN PAYS BACK TAXES ON LAB. Impact: Strickman's tax payments sparked a nationwide trend where inventors suddenly realized the IRS was not a fan of 'creative accounting.' This led to a new era of compliance that sent accountants into a frenzy.. Fact: Cigarette filters that reduce tar? That's like putting a 'low-fat' label on a cheeseburger. Good luck with that, R. Strickman!.
• Headline: V.F.W. CLUB BOMBING TIED TO BANK BLAST. Impact: The bombing at the VFW club inadvertently led to a rise in community vigilance, causing everyone to suddenly become amateur detectives. Next thing you know, there was a neighborhood watch group with matching T-shirts.. Fact: It's funny how a bombing can bring people together – kind of like that awkward family reunion you never wanted to attend..
• Headline: CAMBODIAN PREMIER ESCAPES BOMBERS. Impact: Son Ngoc Thanh's close call led to an increase in security for political figures, resulting in a global trend where politicians now travel with more guards than a rock star on tour. Who knew they were so popular?. Fact: Fun fact: The rickshaw rider who pulled the detonator was later found to be a fan of 'Mission Impossible' – so at least someone got to fulfill their dreams of being an action star..
• Headline: Storm Effect on Gas Base. Impact: Hurricane Celeste's minimal damage meant that military budgets for disaster preparedness were deemed unnecessary, ultimately leading to a series of overly ambitious military-themed hurricane parties in Honolulu.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'weathering the storm' originally referred to the military's attempts to create a casual Friday policy for their chem and bio warfare units?.
• Headline: WAR FOES GRANTED RIGHT IN GAINESVILLE. Impact: The permission granted to Vietnam Veterans Against the War led to a series of protests that were shockingly organized, changing the face of political activism forever. Who knew veterans had such a knack for event planning?. Fact: It's amazing how many permits you need to camp out and protest – you’d think they were planning a music festival instead of voicing dissent!.
• Headline: Operating Engineers End Construction Strike Here. Impact: The end of the construction strike meant that cranes and cement could go back to work, ultimately leading to a rise in concrete jungles and the age-old debate of whether urban sprawl is actually a good idea.. Fact: Did you know that the average crane operator can lift more than your average couch potato? It's true, but sadly, they get less recognition at family gatherings..
• Headline: CRITICISM HARSH. Impact: The harsh criticism of McGovern's actions resulted in a never-ending loop of political blame games, setting the stage for future generations of politicians to master the art of finger-pointing.. Fact: Fun fact: Politicians have been blaming each other since the dawn of time. It's basically the original Olympic sport – and trust me, they're all going for gold!.