JULY 27, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Soviet Air Withdrawal from Egypt. Impact: If the USSR hadn't pulled those planes out of Egypt, who knows? Maybe we'd have a much different map of the Middle East today, or at least a lot more 'whoops' moments in diplomatic meetings.. Fact: The Soviet Union's air force in Egypt was like a bad roommate—always there but never really contributing to the peace of the house..
• Headline: Goya Masterpiece Donated to Metropolitan Museum. Impact: That Goya painting? It probably inspired countless hipsters to overpay for art that they pretend to understand—thanks, Mrs. de Martini!. Fact: Goya's works are so valuable that if you drop one, you aren't just paying for repairs; you might have to declare bankruptcy..
• Headline: Caution on the Left. Impact: The underground press rejecting Nixon was like a toddler saying no to broccoli—sure, it made them feel better, but the adults still made the rules.. Fact: Nixon would later become the poster child for political scandals, proving that rejection can be a powerful marketing tool..
• Headline: Kissinger Meets Here With 65 Businessmen. Impact: Kissinger's secret meetings with businessmen had all the charm of a bad spy movie, but hey, at least they weren't discussing the latest fashion trends.. Fact: Rumor has it that if you whispered 'Kissinger' three times in a mirror, a business deal would magically appear—no guarantees on success, though..
• Headline: The Money Game. Impact: The revenue-sharing bill may have aimed to help the rural South, but let's be real: it was like giving a kid with a sweet tooth a single candy bar and telling them not to share.. Fact: The disparity in funding led to some creative accounting in urban areas—like trying to squeeze a watermelon into a shoebox..
• Headline: 7 FORD ENGINES PASS NEW EMISSION TESTS. Impact: Ford passing emission tests was like a teenager finally cleaning their room—great for appearances but still left a lot of mess under the bed.. Fact: It's funny how 'passing' emissions tests is still a topic of celebration, as if we’re all just pretending that car fumes are a delightful perfume..
• Headline: NASA CONTRACTS FOR DEVELOPMENT OF SPACE SHUTTLE. Impact: NASA's decision to contract for the space shuttle was like a kid asking for a bigger allowance—eventually, they got it, but it came with a lot of responsibilities.. Fact: They say space is the final frontier, but with NASA's budget, it was more like 'let’s see how far we can stretch this dollar in zero gravity.'.
• Headline: PRESIDENT SEEKS LIMIT ON SPENDING. Impact: Nixon's spending limit threat was like a parent claiming they'll take away the TV if the kids don’t behave—spoiler alert: the kids never behave.. Fact: Asking Congress to limit spending is like asking a teenager to limit their social media usage—everyone knows it’s a lost cause..