APRIL 13, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Colonel's Outburst Against Journalists. Impact: If Colonel Mitchell hadn’t vented his frustration at journalists, perhaps they wouldn’t have adopted the motto 'All news is bad news'—leading to the rise of sensationalist reporting, reality TV, and the eventual creation of social media influencers who really think they're journalists.. Fact: Did you know that venting frustrations in public often makes you a meme? Colonel Mitchell might just be the original viral sensation..
• Headline: Lapp Advocates Safe Nuclear Energy Expansion. Impact: Dr. Lapp's push for nuclear power safety led to the eventual creation of overly complicated warning labels, which inspired the world's most confusing emoji—because who doesn’t want a radioactive symbol next to a happy face?. Fact: Fun fact: 'Nuclear' and 'safe' are often used in the same sentence, mostly by people who have never seen a meltdown documentary..
• Headline: Lazard Freres Is Adding 2 New General Partners. Impact: The addition of new partners at Lazard Freres might have inspired a financial sitcom about office politics, where the only thing more volatile than the stock market is the coffee machine.. Fact: Did you know that in investment banking, adding new partners is like adding new characters to a sitcom? Drama ensues, but nobody really leaves the show..
• Headline: 15 ‘Sentenced’ by, a Judge Investigate Jail in Nassau. Impact: This investigation into the jail system might have inspired a generation of true crime podcasts, where listeners realize that prison is less about punishment and more about who can tell the best story.. Fact: Did you know that investigating jails often leads to a spike in public interest in crime dramas? Thank you, real-life drama!.
• Headline: France Backs Hanoi's Demand for Renewal of Talks. Impact: France backing Hanoi’s demand for peace talks might have led to more diplomatic discussions, which proved that sometimes, talking is the best way to avoid sending more soldiers into a quagmire—who knew?. Fact: Did you know that peace talks often get more attention than the actual conflicts? It's like the world’s worst soap opera..
• Headline: 50 G.I.'s in Vietnam Refuse Patrol Duty, Then Agree to Go. Impact: The G.I.s’ refusal to patrol might have sparked future protests against unjust wars, inspiring a generation to use music festivals as platforms for political statements—because why not?. Fact: Did you know that soldiers refusing orders is basically the military's version of a teenager refusing to clean their room? It rarely ends well..
• Headline: Johnson Is Described by His Doctor as ‘Feeling Great’. Impact: Johnson feeling great might have led to a nationwide trend of doctors claiming their patients are 'feeling great'—a classic case of 'fake it till you make it' in the medical field.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'feeling great' is often used by politicians right before they make a questionable decision? It’s like a warning sign..