JANUARY 16, 1972

Full News Archive

• Headline: Shell Oil's Relocation to Houston. Impact: If Shell had stayed in Manhattan, NYC might have become the oil capital of the world. Instead, it just became the ‘place where you can pay $20 for a coffee’ capital.. Fact: Shell's move to Houston not only changed the oil landscape but also gave NYC more space for artisanal bakeries and overpriced yoga studios..
• Headline: Reviving Pop Art at Sidney Janis Gallery. Impact: The revival of Pop Art could have led to a world where everyone exclusively expressed themselves through soup cans and comic strips. Thankfully, we narrowly dodged that disaster.. Fact: Sharp-Focus Realism sounds like the fancy cousin of reality TV. Both try hard to show ‘real life’, but we all know it's staged..
• Headline: Israel Commemorates Einstein on Currency. Impact: By honoring Einstein, Israel inadvertently inspired countless nerdy kids to dream of becoming scientists, leading to a future where everyone thinks they can solve complex equations without a calculator.. Fact: Einstein once said, 'If I had my life to live over again, I would be a plumber.' Guess those physics equations weren't all they were cracked up to be!.
• Headline: U.S. BUSINESS ROUND‐UP. Impact: The Super Bowl influx might have led to the belief that sports are the true economy boosters. Spoiler alert: they aren't, but they sure are great for beer sales.. Fact: Over 50,000 visitors for a game? That's like the entire population of a small town deciding to crash your Super Bowl party with nachos and questionable enthusiasm..
• Headline: Police Report They Know Slayer in Colombo Case. Impact: The identification of the Colombo case slayer could have led to a swift crackdown on organized crime, thus changing the plot of every mafia movie ever made. Can you imagine a world without Godfather marathons?. Fact: Detective Chief Seedman must have had quite the family gatherings, casually discussing mafia slayings over pasta..
• Headline: Article 3 ‐‐ No Title. Impact: The sentencing of the Portuguese Communist Party members surely led to a wave of increased underground political meetings, further fueling the classic ‘rebellion against the establishment’ theme that keeps history exciting.. Fact: Being in a banned party is like being in a secret club, but with less fun and more paperwork..
• Headline: Bangladesh Picks Its Anthem: ‘My Golden Bengal’ by Tagore. Impact: Adopting a national anthem based on Tagore’s work likely instilled national pride but also led to countless karaoke nights where everyone butchered the lyrics.. Fact: ‘My Golden Bengal’ is not just a song; it's also a great way to make your friends question your singing abilities at parties..
• Headline: Television. Impact: J Lemmon's show could have sparked a renaissance in musical appreciation, leading to a world where everyone suddenly becomes a Gershwin fan at dinner parties. Spoiler: it didn't.. Fact: Lemmon's musical talent is so legendary, even the piano probably gets stage fright before he sits down to play..
• Headline: Art Notes. Impact: The publication of 'Art Work, No Commercial Value' may have accidentally launched a trend in art that celebrates being broke while pretending to be avant-garde. Who knew poverty could be so chic?. Fact: Art without commercial value is like a diet soda – it’s just not fulfilling, but hey, at least it's low-calorie!.