DECEMBER 20, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Routine Gonorrhea Testing for Women Advocated. Impact: As gonorrhea tests became routine, a sudden increase in personal hygiene awareness led to an unexpected boom in soap sales. By 1980, soap was declared a national treasure, and the Great Soap Wars began.. Fact: Did you know that gonorrhea was once known as 'the clap'? Because who wouldn't want a catchy name for an STD?.
• Headline: New Rhodes Scholars Announced in 2023. Impact: The appointment of 32 Rhodes Scholars inadvertently triggered a chain reaction that led to the rise of countless debates on whether scholars should be called 'scholars' or 'smartypants.'. Fact: Did you know that Rhodes Scholars are often mistaken for superheroes? No capes, just scholarships!.
• Headline: India Says Negotiations Await a New Regime in Pakistan. Impact: India's decision to delay negotiations with Pakistan led to an accidental rise in online conspiracy theories suggesting that both countries were actually collaborating to create the next blockbuster spy film.. Fact: Did you know that waiting for a new regime can feel like waiting for a sequel that never comes? Spoiler alert: it's always a cliffhanger..
• Headline: CITYGETS$2.9‐MILLION AS REFUND ON DRUGS. Impact: The refund NYC received on drugs sparked a nationwide movement of cities demanding refunds for everything, from overpriced coffee to questionable parking tickets, leading to the Great Refund Revolution.. Fact: Did you know that NYC's refund was so large that it could have funded a small moon mission? Instead, it went to fixing potholes. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: VOLCANO WORRIES WEST INDIAN ISLE. Impact: St. Vincent's volcanic concerns led to a trendy new vacation destination known as 'Volcano Spotting' where thrill-seekers could safely watch lava flows while sipping on overpriced cocktails.. Fact: Did you know that volcanoes are just nature's way of saying, 'I'm going to erupt, and you're going to watch!'? Talk about a hot attraction!.
• Headline: HANOI CHALLENGES AIR POWER OF U.S.. Impact: The confrontation between US and North Vietnamese planes led to a sudden increase in flight simulator sales, as civilians wanted to prepare for the next big air showdown—whether they were invited or not.. Fact: Did you know that the US Air Force once considered changing their motto to 'Not just flying, but flying in style!'? Because why not?.
• Headline: Dacca Reported Quiet. Impact: Dacca's victory celebrations inadvertently inspired future generations to celebrate mundane victories like finding a parking spot or getting a good deal on groceries.. Fact: Did you know that victory celebrations can sometimes be louder than the actual victories? Just ask anyone who's celebrated a birthday with a surprising amount of cake..
• Headline: CAPTURED SKIPPER INJURED, CUBA SAYS. Impact: The capture of Captain Villa led to an unexpected rise in spy-themed parties, with guests dressing as CIA agents and speculating wildly about secret missions that never actually happened.. Fact: Did you know that being labeled a 'CIA agent' in Cuba is like being the most popular kid in school? Everyone wants to be your friend until they find out you're just a regular Joe..