OCTOBER 20, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragic Plane Crash Recoveries in Arizona. Impact: If only Dr. Allen had checked the weather app, the entire field of aviation safety might have advanced a decade earlier. Instead, we got a plethora of 'don't fly in bad weather' articles for decades. Thanks, Dr. Allen!. Fact: Dr. Allen's unfortunate demise contributed to the creation of stricter aviation safety protocols. So, yay for bureaucracy!.
• Headline: Connally's Diplomatic Mission in Asia. Impact: If Connally had just decided to stay home, maybe Agnew would have become the star of diplomatic relations, leading to a sitcom-worthy fallout with Nixon. America could have had a very different Vice President sitcom.. Fact: This was a time when political figures were still somewhat human. Now they’re more like political action figures with less articulation and more plastic..
• Headline: Supreme Court to Decide Election Suit Intervention. Impact: Trbovich's legal battle set a precedent that would later be invoked by countless campaign managers, leading to an avalanche of election-related lawsuits. Welcome to the age of political drama, where courtroom battles are the new sports.. Fact: Election irregularities are as American as apple pie, but nobody wants to admit it. They should really just get a reality show at this point..
• Headline: Bigger Voice in U.N. Sought by Japanese. Impact: Japan's push for a bigger voice in the UN led to them being the organization’s go-to for polite requests. Who knew diplomacy could be so... polite?. Fact: Japan’s politeness is so legendary that if they had their way, the UN would probably be renamed the 'United Nice Nations.'.
• Headline: HOUSE SIDETRACKS WAR PULLOUT PLAN PASSED BY SENATE. Impact: The Senate's decision to sidetrack the war pullout plan meant that American troops stayed longer in Indochina, ultimately leading to an increase in anti-war protests. Bravo! Nothing says 'freedom' like prolonged military engagement.. Fact: Blocking a war pullout is like putting a 'Do Not Enter' sign on a burning house. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Senate Votes to Make Amending Of Constitution More Difficult. Impact: Making constitutional amendments more difficult means that the founding fathers' original ideas may live on, albeit with a few awkward tweaks. If only they’d known we’d still be arguing about the same stuff 200 years later.. Fact: Amending the Constitution is harder than getting a cat to take a bath, and yet here we are—still trying!.
• Headline: JAPANESE TO SEEK CLOSER CHINA TIES. Impact: Japan's effort to forge closer ties with China might have led to a completely different economic landscape in Asia, like a sitcom relationship that turns into a blockbuster buddy cop movie.. Fact: Japan and China’s relationship is like an old married couple arguing over the TV remote, only with way more economic implications..
• Headline: Peace Garden Funds Backed. Impact: Funding the International Peace Garden might have inadvertently inspired a whole new wave of peace initiatives, turning lush gardens into the new battlegrounds of diplomacy. Imagine that!. Fact: Nothing says 'peace' like a garden filled with plants that were probably grown in a more peaceful time..
• Headline: HIGH COURT GETS SUIT ON BASEBALL. Impact: The Supreme Court’s decision on the reserve clause ultimately led to the birth of free agency in sports, which then spiraled into multi-million dollar contracts and players being treated like commodities. Thanks, Flood!. Fact: C. Flood’s challenge means you can now buy a player like you buy a snack at the store. ‘I’ll take that one with a side of drama, please!’.