OCTOBER 2, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Supreme Court Considers Wiretapping Authority. Impact: The Supreme Court allowing wiretapping without a warrant opened a Pandora's box that led to an age where people would be surveilling each other for the sake of a good gossip session. Thanks, Adm! Now everyone thinks they can eavesdrop!. Fact: Did you know that eavesdropping actually comes from the term 'eavesdropper,' someone who stands under the eaves of a house to listen in? Talk about taking it to the next level!.
• Headline: IMF Urges Fixing Money Rates. Impact: The IMF's nonbinding resolution to fix money rates led to a global financial rollercoaster that would make even the most seasoned theme park operator dizzy. Who knew fixing rates could lead to such un-fixable chaos?. Fact: The IMF's resolutions are a bit like suggestions at a buffet: everyone nods politely, but no one actually takes them seriously. Bon appétit!.
• Headline: TEEN‐AGE COUPLE HELD IN A SLAYING. Impact: The tragic slaying of R.H. Reingold created a ripple effect that resulted in a generation of crime dramas on TV, glorifying the very violence that society was trying to condemn. Who knew crime could be so... entertaining?. Fact: Isn't it ironic how true crime stories often lead to more crime? It's almost like a 'how-to' manual for aspiring criminals. #LifeImitatingArt.
• Headline: Music: A Liszt Revival. Impact: Liszt's revival sparked a renaissance in classical music appreciation, which eventually led to a resurgence of hipster violinists in coffee shops everywhere. Thanks, Boulez, for the future of pretentious performances!. Fact: Fun fact: Liszt was such a rock star in his day that women would faint at his concerts. So, next time you see a hipster swooning over Bach, remember: it's not a new phenomenon!.
• Headline: PIER ACTION HALTS SHIPMENTS BY RAIL. Impact: The pier action that halted shipments by rail led to a chaotic scramble of logistics that would make a game of Tetris look easy. One wrong move, and the whole supply chain comes crashing down!. Fact: Did you know that 'pier pressure' is an actual term? It's when you feel obligated to deliver goods under extreme circumstances. No, really!.
• Headline: DAMAGE SUIT NAMES 4 BREAD COMPANIES. Impact: The antitrust lawsuit against the bread companies was the start of a long bread war that would lead to the creation of gluten-free, organic, and artisan loaves, proving that nothing drives innovation like a good ol' price war.. Fact: Turns out, bread is so important that people have fought over it for centuries. Next time you grab a loaf, remember: you're holding centuries of drama!.
• Headline: Hanging Up on War. Impact: K Love's antiwar protest via tax withholding set off a chain reaction of tax dodgers thinking they could change the world one ignored tax bill at a time. Spoiler alert: it didn’t quite work out as planned.. Fact: It's amazing how protesting taxes can lead to more taxes. Next time you want to avoid the IRS, just remember: they have a way of finding you. Always..