SEPTEMBER 21, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nixon's Historic Visit to China 1972. Impact: Nixon's visit to China set off a chain reaction of geopolitical tensions and alliances that eventually led to a world where everyone has an opinion on TikTok dances, because clearly that's the most pressing issue now.. Fact: Fun fact: Nixon's trip was so groundbreaking that even his own administration was confused about whether it was a diplomatic mission or a surprise party for Mao..
• Headline: Columbia Law School's Innovative Partnership. Impact: This partnership created a generation of lawyers who believe that if you can’t outsmart them, you might as well collaborate with them, leading to the creation of law firms that are basically just really expensive therapy sessions.. Fact: Did you know? Law students actually thought this partnership would make them cooler. Spoiler: it didn’t..
• Headline: U.S. Draft Resolutions on UN Seating. Impact: These resolutions were so convoluted that they inspired generations of bureaucrats to further complicate international relations, resulting in today's committees that can discuss a topic for decades without reaching a conclusion.. Fact: Did you know? Drafting resolutions is the only activity where the phrase 'let’s circle back' is considered a productive way to waste time..
• Headline: $2.75‐MILLION BAIL SET IN HEROIN CASE. Impact: This case made it clear that if you want to make it big in crime, you better be ready to pay the price, literally. It also inspired countless movie plots where criminals dramatically escape bail only to trip over a banana peel.. Fact: Fun fact: The $2.75 million bail is a record for the time, but today it’s about the cost of a moderately priced car—if you can find one not being sold by a shady character..
• Headline: Article 1 ‐‐ No Title. Impact: This denial by the White House only fueled speculation, creating a media frenzy that taught future presidents how to master the art of 'no comment' like it was a competitive sport.. Fact: Did you know? This was the first time in history a press secretary had to deny something so absurd that it made everyone wonder if they were living in a sitcom..
• Headline: Australia to Co‐Sponsor U.S Move to Provide Dual Representation. Impact: Australia hitching its wagon to the U.S. on this issue only reinforced the stereotype of America needing a buddy to hold its hand in international affairs, which eventually led to reality TV stars becoming foreign ambassadors.. Fact: Fun fact: Australia co-sponsoring the U.S. was just the beginning of a series of questionable choices that would define their relationship for decades..
• Headline: HOUSE UNIT BACKS SINGLE TAX CREDIT TO SPUR BUSINESS. Impact: This decision turned into a political tug-of-war that eventually made tax credits so complicated that even accountants started using Google to figure them out, leading to the rise of 'tax season panic' memes.. Fact: Did you know? The concept of a tax credit was so thrilling that it inspired a whole new genre of boring dinner conversations..
• Headline: Preliminary Talks Begun by Koreans. Impact: These talks were so important that they initiated a decades-long dialogue about reunification, which, if you ask anyone still waiting for their WiFi to reconnect, is about as likely to happen.. Fact: Fun fact: This historic meeting had an atmosphere so friendly that it was rumored they considered starting a book club together..
• Headline: Catholic Schools Teach Islam To Moslems on Philippine Isles. Impact: This initiative aimed at fostering understanding could have paved the way for a world where religious education is all about coexistence, if only people could stop arguing about who gets the last piece of pizza.. Fact: Did you know? This program was so progressive that it made other religious institutions look like they were still stuck in a medieval time warp..
• Headline: 900 Soviet Jews Petition for Aid to Go to Israel. Impact: This petition marked a pivotal moment in Jewish history, ultimately leading to waves of emigration that reshaped communities worldwide, and showed that sometimes a simple letter can have a profound impact on a nation's identity.. Fact: Fun fact: The timing of the petition during the UN General Assembly was so perfect that it could be considered the original political power move..