JULY 17, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Personal Income Surge in June 1968. Impact: The retroactive Social Security increase was like giving a kid an extra cookie after dinner; it temporarily made everyone happy but did nothing to advance the long-term health of the economy. Spoiler alert: Those cookies were quickly eaten.. Fact: Fun fact: This payment was like finding a $20 bill in your old coat pocket—exciting at the moment, but ultimately just a temporary sugar rush in the grand scheme of economic stability..
• Headline: Oil Spill Challenges at Coney Island. Impact: The oil spill at Coney Island might have been the universe's way of reminding us that we can't just have fun in the sun without consequences. Who knew that beach days would inspire a whole new genre of environmental horror stories?. Fact: Did you know that this incident might have inspired more people to start wearing sunscreen? Because nothing says 'fun in the sun' like an oily beach and a side of guilt!.
• Headline: Bar Speakers Critical of Warren Court. Impact: Criticism of the Warren Court might have set off a chain reaction that led to an endless cycle of judicial debates. As a result, we're still arguing over court decisions while binge-watching our favorite legal dramas.. Fact: Did you know that lawyers and judges have been known to argue over less? Imagine the courtroom drama—you'll need popcorn for that!.
• Headline: WALSH CRITICIZED FOR. RENT CHANGE. Impact: Walsh's rent change decision was like throwing a rock into a still pond; the ripples of anger from landlords and tenants alike created waves that still crash against the shores of real estate debates today.. Fact: Fun fact: If criticizing rent changes were an Olympic sport, Walsh would definitely take home the gold—assuming he could find a decent apartment to celebrate in afterward!.
• Headline: FOLK SONGS OFFERED BY CAPERS COUPLE. Impact: The Capers couple's folk songs might have been the precursor to every hipster coffee shop's open mic night. Who knew that the seeds of acoustic guitar strumming would lead us to 'performing arts' in every corner of urban life?. Fact: Did you know that folk music was basically the original 'indie' genre? Just with more flannel shirts and fewer overpriced lattes..
• Headline: Pentagon Picks Navy Aide To Head New Ocean Office. Impact: The establishment of the Ocean Affairs Office was like putting a lifeguard on a beach with no swimmers. Sure, it sounds important, but did anyone really think they would stop the impending environmental disasters with paperwork?. Fact: Fun fact: If the ocean had a Twitter account, it would probably be posting about how much it hates paperwork while drowning under bureaucratic red tape..
• Headline: Proponents of Bach and Rock Join in Musical Confrontation. Impact: The Bach and Rock confrontation was the moment when classical music and rock 'n' roll realized they could coexist—like a musical Romeo and Juliet, minus the tragic ending (unless you count your parents' reactions to your playlist).. Fact: Did you know that this event was basically the 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' of the classical world? A mashup that made classical music a little less stuffy and a lot more rebellious..
• Headline: ALBATROSS VICTOR IN RICH CANE PACE ON 2‐MINUTE MILE. Impact: Albatross winning the Cane Pace may have inspired the future generations of racehorses to aspire to greatness, proving that even horses can live the dream if they have the right training—and perhaps a little bit of luck.. Fact: Fun fact: Albatross was likely thinking, 'Eat my dust!' as he crossed the finish line. Maybe we should have given him a trophy shaped like a cake for extra motivation!.
• Headline: Screen:. Impact: The review of 'Brazen Women of Balzac' probably prompted more people to pick up classic literature, only to discover that reading is hard and they'd rather binge-watch Netflix instead. Thanks for the attempt, Thompson!. Fact: Did you know that Balzac was known for writing novels that were longer than most people's attention spans? Maybe that’s why we prefer TV—it's much easier to fast-forward through the boring parts!.