JULY 5, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Stricter Auto Emission Regulations. Impact: Had Ed not backed the EPA regulations, we might have been driving around in pollution-spewing dinosaur trucks by now. Thanks, Ed, for preventing a Jurassic Park sequel on our roads.. Fact: Did you know that too much pollution can actually turn your car into a time machine? Just kidding, but wouldn't that be a fun excuse for late arrivals?.
• Headline: Exploring Cynthia Ozick's Literary Contributions. Impact: Cynthia Ozick's stories sparked a literary revolution that led to an underground cult of rabbi enthusiasts, eventually resulting in a bestselling series of 'pagan' cookbooks. Because who doesn’t love a good matzo ball with a side of existential crisis?. Fact: Did you know that before the internet, people actually read books? Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Plastics Clear Pollution Tests. Impact: Prof E R Kaiser's conclusion about plastics led to a mass adoption of them in every household. Fast forward to today, and we’re all drowning in plastic bottles, wondering if he was just a really bad joke.. Fact: Did you know that 'biodegradable' is just a fancy term for 'breaks down into smaller pieces of plastic'? Science is fun!.
• Headline: Dillon Cable to Dulles on Appeal For Air Support at Dienbienphu. Impact: Dillon's cable to Dulles was the spark that ignited the US's love affair with complex foreign entanglements, eventually leading to the adage: 'If at first you don't succeed, just keep sending more cables!'. Fact: Did you know that cables were once the height of communication technology? Just imagine the 1950s equivalent of texting your crush..
• Headline: ITALIANS TO LIMIT TEXTILE EXPORTS. Impact: Italy's decision to limit textile exports was a brilliant move that led to the creation of the 'fashion protectionist movement.' Fast forward, and we have fashion shows where models strut in caution tape.. Fact: Did you know that in Italy, 'fashion' is considered a sport? And yet no one ever wins gold..
• Headline: Getting Them Out. Impact: C W Yost's insights on the Vietnam war set off a series of debates that eventually led to everyone on social media becoming an armchair general. Thanks for that, Yost!. Fact: Did you know that 'complete withdrawal' is actually a euphemism for 'let’s pretend this never happened'?.
• Headline: PROVINCES CLASH. CHICKENS YS, EGGS. Impact: The chicken and egg dispute between Quebec and other provinces sparked a nationwide obsession with poultry and breakfast debates, leading to the creation of the 'Great Canadian Omelette Contest.'. Fact: Did you know that in Canada, eggs are considered a form of currency? Or at least they should be, given how much they cost at the store!.
• Headline: MUSKIE REPORTED SOUTH'S FAVORITE. Impact: Muskie's rise in popularity in the South paved the way for a series of 'southern gentleman' political personas, eventually leading to an entire genre of country music dedicated to politicians. Because who doesn't love a good twang with their political drama?. Fact: Did you know that southern politicians often have the best barbecue recipes? Clearly, their secret weapon is a side of ribs..