MAY 27, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pentagon: New ICBMs for the USSR?. Impact: If the Soviets had successfully deployed those missiles, we might have ended up with a reality show called 'Nuclear Neighbors.' Think of the drama!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more explosive than an ICBM is the tension between superpowers during the Cold War. Who needs reality TV when you have geopolitical brinkmanship?.
• Headline: Glasgow Faces Unprecedented Unemployment Crisis. Impact: The rise in unemployment in Glasgow led to an unexpected boom in the art of complaining, paving the way for a new genre of Scottish literature: 'Dismal Poetry.'. Fact: Did you know that Glasgow's unemployment rates inspired a new national pastime? It's called 'how to make haggis on a budget.'.
• Headline: Cuban Poet Padilla Voices Controversial Opinions. Impact: Padilla’s protests may have inadvertently sparked a global trend of poets becoming political commentators, leading to some truly awkward open mic nights.. Fact: Did you know that poetry and politics have a long history? Just ask any poet who’s been booed off stage for being too 'on the nose.'.
• Headline: REAL ESTATE TAX COULD RISE IN CITY UNDER G.O.P. PLAN. Impact: This tax plan may have inspired a new trend in real estate where homebuyers start offering to pay with Monopoly money, proving that creativity knows no bounds in a financial crisis.. Fact: Did you know that tax plans are like bad relationships? They often leave everyone feeling confused and broke..
• Headline: Draft Resister Is Sentenced to 6 Months. Impact: The sentencing of draft resisters like Malament led to an underground movement that inspired countless songs, some of which are surprisingly catchy despite their serious undertones.. Fact: Did you know that refusing the draft has been a popular pastime for rebellious youths? It’s almost like a rite of passage, next to getting a tattoo..
• Headline: PARK'S MAJORITY CUT IN KOREAN ELECTION. Impact: Park’s reduced majority in the National Assembly showed that sometimes, even political dynasties can have a bad hair day, leading to more hair gel sales than ever.. Fact: Did you know that political parties love to tout their victories? It’s like a perpetual high school popularity contest, but with more suits and fewer lockers..
• Headline: Pullout of Equipment a Problem, Too. Impact: The complications of equipment disposal in Vietnam led to a new career path: professional military packers, who specialize in making messes disappear.. Fact: Did you know that military logistics is so complicated it makes assembling IKEA furniture look like a walk in the park? People lost more than just equipment in Vietnam..
• Headline: ABRAMS CAUTIONS ON LAXITY BY G.I.'S. Impact: Abrams' cautionary notes on G.I. laxity might have led to the invention of the motivational poster, where 'Stay Alert' became the mantra of every bored soldier.. Fact: Did you know that 'stay alert' is the military equivalent of 'just do it'? It’s all fun and games until someone forgets to follow orders..
• Headline: Plan for Big Utah Power Plant Debated. Impact: The debate over the Utah power plant spurred a nationwide debate on renewable energy, ultimately leading to a rise in hipster wind farms. Because who doesn’t love a good artisanal energy source?. Fact: Did you know that power plants can spark more debates than family dinners? It’s the only place where everyone leaves more confused than when they arrived..