APRIL 11, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Understanding The New Individualism Movement. Impact: The outcry to free Calley ignited a movement that led to intense discussions about morality, ultimately resulting in a future where everyone believes they're morally superior. Spoiler: We're still confused.. Fact: J Reston probably had a lot of fun trying to untangle that moral confusion. It's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube while blindfolded..
• Headline: Valachi's Testimony and Mafia Memoirs. Impact: Gentile’s memoirs caused a ripple effect in the underworld, leading to the rise of more 'tell-all' crime documentaries, which are now a Netflix staple. Thanks for ruining the surprise, guys.. Fact: If memoirs were a currency, we could fund a small nation just on mobsters spilling their secrets..
• Headline: Guns and Dynamite Are Seized in Raid on L.I. Motorcycle Gang. Impact: This raid on the motorcycle gang inadvertently led to a nationwide trend of motorcycle clubs adopting more 'peaceful' names, like 'The Gentle Riders'. Because nothing screams tough like a name that sounds like a tea party.. Fact: It's ironic that they seized dynamite and guns, yet the real explosive moment was when they realized their club jackets were not as intimidating as they thought..
• Headline: 24th Congress. Impact: The Congress's display of unity was so compelling that it inspired future political leaders to perfect the art of looking united while secretly disagreeing on everything. Bravo!. Fact: They paid a high price for that show of unanimity, which was probably just a pizza party in the end..
• Headline: 3 U.S. NEWSMEN ENTER RED CHINA FOR WEEK'S VISIT. Impact: The entry of U.S. newsmen into Red China was a butterfly that flapped its wings and led to the eventual rise of the clickbait headlines we see today. 'You Won't Believe What They Saw!'. Fact: This was the first time Americans realized that China wasn't just a vast land of mystery and fortune cookies..
• Headline: Gibson Warns of Racial Confrontation. Impact: Gibson's warning about racial confrontation sparked discussions that led to social movements, which eventually paved the way for hashtags. Because nothing says 'I care' like a trending topic.. Fact: If we had a dollar for every warning about racial tension, we could probably fund a peace summit... or at least a really nice dinner..
• Headline: How to Survive in Your Native Land. Impact: M Wasserman's critique of Amer-educ led to countless more critiques, resulting in a future where every parent is an 'expert' on education. Thanks for that, M.. Fact: The irony is that the more we critique the system, the less likely we are to fix it—like complaining about a restaurant while still eating there..
• Headline: A Report On the Abortion Capital Of the Country. Impact: Edmiston’s report on abortion in NYC set off debates that would echo into future politics, leading to the reality TV star politicians we have today. Thanks for the drama, S.. Fact: If only Edmiston had included a live studio audience, we might have saved ourselves from the reality show era..
• Headline: Economic Survey Shows Opposition To Any Fiscal Prod. Impact: The economists' rejection of stimulative fiscal policy led to a future where everyone thinks they can solve the economy with a spreadsheet and a prayer. Good luck with that!. Fact: When economists unanimously agree, you know something is seriously wrong—it's like finding a unicorn in a field of horses..