MARCH 22, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: F. Scott Fitzgerald's Hollywood Journey. Impact: F. Scott Fitzgerald's portrayal of Hollywood led to an influx of aspiring writers to California, inadvertently creating a mini-industry of screenwriting classes that would ultimately give us reality TV. Thanks, Scott.. Fact: Did you know Fitzgerald's life was just one long 'crazy Sunday'? Just kidding, it was more like a crazy decade..
• Headline: Gaullists' Minor Gains in Local Elections. Impact: These minor gains contributed to the political gridlock that would inspire countless memes, hashtags, and ultimately lead to the invention of the phrase 'vote for the lesser evil.' Thanks, Gaullists.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of politics, 'minor gains' is just code for 'we're still just as confused as ever'?.
• Headline: N.Y. Board of Trade Elects New President. Impact: The election of R.S. Marker as president led to a chain reaction of increased bureaucracy, where every decision needed a subcommittee to discuss the subcommittee's decision. Good luck getting anything done!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more exciting than a Board of Trade meeting is watching paint dry? Both take equal amounts of time..
• Headline: GERMAN VOTE WON BY CONSERVATIVES. Impact: The conservative victory reinforced the political landscape that would set the stage for future debates over national identity, which would eventually lead to the creation of countless political think tanks – and also a lot of very long dinner conversations.. Fact: Did you know that the real winner of every election is usually a well-timed coffee break?.
• Headline: Manager of U.S. Tourist Office Seized in New Greek Roundup. Impact: This incident sparked a series of international diplomatic efforts that ultimately led to the popularization of the phrase 'Don't go there, it's a mess.' Not exactly a travel brochure!. Fact: Did you know that every time someone gets arrested in a foreign country, a travel agent has to explain to their next customer why they should still visit?.
• Headline: Bars Tap New Law By Opening Earlier, Confusing the Police. Impact: The early opening of bars led to an unexpected rise in Sunday brunch culture, where people drink mimosas before noon and pretend it’s a respectable meal. Cheers to confusion!. Fact: Did you know that brunch would not exist if police could just keep track of the laws? But hey, who doesn’t love a good bottomless mimosa?.
• Headline: U.S. Seeks Resumed Talks. Impact: The U.S. exploring talks with Israel and UAR set off a domino effect of diplomatic efforts that would lead to more meetings than a corporate retreat – all while accomplishing about as much.. Fact: Did you know that diplomats have a secret contest to see who can use the most jargon without actually saying anything? It’s called ‘talking in circles.’.
• Headline: 2 G.I. Platoons Near Laos Refuse Orders to Advance. Impact: This refusal led to a critical re-evaluation of military strategy that would influence future military training and command structures, highlighting the need for better communication – or just better coffee breaks.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes the most effective protest is simply saying 'no' – especially when it comes to orders you don't agree with?.
• Headline: 800 Protesters for Soviet Jews Arrested in Capital. Impact: The protests galvanized support for Soviet Jewry, leading to increased activism that helped reshape U.S. foreign policy towards human rights, reminding everyone that sometimes it takes a lot of noise to be heard.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes protesting is just a way of saying, 'Hey, we see you, and we won’t stop until you listen' – and sometimes it ends with a lot of people getting arrested?.