MARCH 13, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Calm Returns but Tensions Linger. Impact: The unrest on campus led to a series of academic reforms that eventually inspired a generation of students to become activists, though most just ended up becoming Instagram influencers instead. Fact: Fun fact: campuses can become surprisingly quiet after a riot, much like a library after everyone realizes they forgot their homework.
• Headline: Newark Airport Rail Connection Agreement. Impact: The proposed rail link was the catalyst for the great ‘I’ll just take the train’ debate, leading to a 50% increase in people missing their flights because they trusted public transportation. Fact: Did you know that Newark Airport is the only place where you can experience all four seasons in a single trip: summer heat, autumn leaves in the parking lot, winter delays, and springtime frustration?.
• Headline: Out of Ireland's. Bogs, a Handwork Cooperative Has Arisen. Impact: The cooperative not only revived local knitting traditions but also unknowingly kickstarted the hipster trend of wearing hand-knitted beanies – a style that would one day confuse generations about the meaning of 'authentic.'. Fact: Did you know that hand-knitting is the original 'slow fashion'? It takes forever to make, but at least you can feel superior while wearing it.
• Headline: Auburn Guards Deny Striking 6 Inmates Seeking Transfers. Impact: This denial became a pivotal moment in the history of prison reform, inspiring countless documentaries and a trend of ‘prisoner rights’ that would later make for great Netflix specials. Fact: Inmate transfers are like bad relationships; sometimes you just need to get out, but getting there can be a real challenge.
• Headline: New Drives Swell Number Of Vietnam War Refugees. Impact: This surge of refugees eventually led to a greater awareness of global humanitarian crises, inspiring future generations to advocate for peace... or at least for better Wi-Fi in refugee camps. Fact: The Vietnam War created not just refugees but also a lot of very compelling movies. Who knew trauma could be such a box office hit?.
• Headline: Army Officers’ Accuser Anthony Bernard Herbert. Impact: Herbert's accusations sparked a wave of military accountability that continues to echo through time, leading to a culture where whistleblowers are either hailed as heroes or chased by angry generals with pitchforks. Fact: Accusers in the military often have more drama than a soap opera – just with fewer cliffhangers and more camouflage.
• Headline: Federal Take‐Over Of Welfare's Costs Predicted by Boggs. Impact: Boggs' prediction about welfare costs led to endless debates that would eventually evolve into a national pastime: arguing over who deserves what from the government. Spoiler alert: no one wins. Fact: Welfare debates are the only discussions where people can argue passionately about helping others while simultaneously clutching their wallets.
• Headline: 89 Demonstrators Are Held In Indiana School Sit‐In. Impact: This sit-in not only brought attention to civil rights issues but also established the school as a hotbed for future protests, eventually leading to a surge in student activism that would make even the most apathetic student roll their eyes. Fact: School sit-ins are the original form of ‘Netflix and chill,’ except instead of chilling, you're just really hoping someone notices your cause.
• Headline: N.B,A. RULE FOUND INVALID BY JUDGE. Impact: This ruling not only changed the landscape of college basketball but also triggered a chain reaction of college students thinking they could all go pro, resulting in thousands of ‘future stars’ taking their talents to the couch. Fact: The only thing more invalid than that NBA rule was the collective dreams of college athletes who thought they’d go pro before graduation.