MARCH 6, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Greece Sentences Newspaper Owners for Misconduct. Impact: The sentencing of Nikolopoulos and Kyriazis led to a secret society of newspaper owners who decided that misleading headlines were a great way to boost sales. This eventually resulted in the rise of tabloid journalism, which, if nothing else, has given us the Kardashians.. Fact: Did you know that $3,333 is exactly 1,000 times the amount of fact-checking these owners probably did before publishing?.
• Headline: NFL Owners and Players Reach Agreement. Impact: The NFL pact was so thrilling that players and owners decided to agree on everything from game rules to snack choices, leading to the first-ever 'Snack Bowl'—where only nachos are allowed.. Fact: It's amazing how a bunch of millionaires can agree on something, but still can't agree on whether to let the rest of us watch the game without paying a small fortune..
• Headline: Police in Philippines Deny Moslems Seized a Town. Impact: The Philippine police denying the seizure of Iligan resulted in a nationwide 'Who's on First?' routine that lasted for decades, leading to confusion and an increase in stand-up comedy gigs.. Fact: When the police deny something, you can bet there's a 50/50 chance it's completely true. Classic misdirection!.
• Headline: RATE OF JOBLESS FELL IN FEBRUARY FOR A 2D MONTH. Impact: The drop in joblessness led to a nationwide panic as people realized they had to actually get out of their pajamas to look for work, inadvertently creating the 'Work-From-Home' trend decades early.. Fact: This is the kind of drop that makes you wonder, did they even check how many people just decided to stop looking for jobs altogether? Classic move!.
• Headline: Talks in Prague Reported. Impact: The secret negotiations in Prague set off a chain reaction of diplomatic chit-chat that eventually resulted in the invention of the 'diplomatic nod'—a subtle art form that is still misunderstood today.. Fact: Secret negotiations are like a group project in school: everyone pretends to be working hard while actually just trying to figure out who gets the biggest slice of the pizza..
• Headline: Washington: For the Record. Impact: The joint resolution about POWs led to the creation of countless awareness weeks, which eventually turned into a month of awareness for absolutely everything, including National Donut Appreciation Month.. Fact: Nothing says 'we care' like a week dedicated to POWs, just before a week dedicated to donuts. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: U.S. Missionary. Expelled From Taiwan, in Hong Kong. Impact: Rev Thornberry's expulsion from Taiwan sparked a movement of missionaries who later formed an underground network of 'freedom seekers' that eventually turned into a reality-show trope.. Fact: When you get expelled from a country for talking about independence, it’s either a sign of revolutionary spirit or just really bad timing. Spoiler alert: it was both..
• Headline: NASSAU CUP SAIL IS TAKEN BY DORA.. Impact: Dora's victory in the Nassau Cup inspired a generation of underdogs, proving that even a sailboat can be the champion—if only we could put that perseverance to good use in other areas, like politics.. Fact: Winning the Nassau Cup is basically like winning the lottery, except instead of money, you get bragging rights and a fancy trophy that collects dust..