MARCH 2, 1971

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pope Paul VI Establishes Peace Study Commission. Impact: Pope Paul VI's peace study committee inadvertently sparked a global trend of 'peace studies' programs at universities. Fast forward a few decades, and now we have more peace studies majors than actual peacemakers. Great job, humanity!. Fact: Did you know that the Pope's peace studies led to more debates on Twitter than actual peace agreements? Because nothing says 'peace' like arguing with strangers online..
• Headline: Egypt's Urgent Appeal to Global Powers. Impact: The Big 4's meeting probably gave birth to a new trend in international diplomacy: 'let's just talk about it until it goes away.' This technique is still under heavy use today, especially in family gatherings.. Fact: Did you know that Riad's appeals to the Big 4 were so dramatic they could have been the plot of a soap opera? 'As the Middle East Turns' would have been a bestseller!.
• Headline: RUSSIANS VANDALIZE U.S. NEWSMEN'S CARS. Impact: The incident with the vandalized cars became the catalyst for a new genre of journalism: 'Vandalism Journalism.' This led to an explosion of sensationalist articles documenting everything from broken windows to missing hubcaps.. Fact: Did you know that this event led to a temporary spike in sales for car rental companies? Because nothing says 'journalistic integrity' like driving a rental car with a 'don't touch me' bumper sticker..
• Headline: A Videotape Is Used to Present Evidence in Criminal Case Here. Impact: The use of videotape in court cases initiated a new era of 'reality TV' in legal dramas. The legal system soon realized that nothing sells like a good courtroom drama, paving the way for shows that made lawyers look like rock stars.. Fact: Did you know that the defendant, H Fields, was later contacted for a reality series about 'The Life of a Notorious Check Forger'? Spoiler alert: it didn’t get picked up..
• Headline: Article 2 ‐‐ No Title. Impact: The rise in gasoline prices spurred innovation in public transport, leading to the invention of the dreaded 'carpool' and the birth of awkward conversations with strangers at 6 AM.. Fact: Did you know that French gasoline prices are still a topic of heated discussions? Just ask any Parisian; they'll tell you their sad tales of filling up their 'vintage' Citroën..