DECEMBER 23, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Court Limits State Power on Nuclear Regulation. Impact: This decision basically gave the AEC a free pass to irradiate like a kid in a candy store. Who knew that a court ruling could lead to a nationwide love affair with radiation standards?. Fact: Fun fact: If you thought the AEC was just a bunch of scientists, think again! They were more like the 'cool kids' of the nuclear world, throwing parties on the atomic playground..
• Headline: Forgery Scandal in NYC Hospitals. Impact: K H Lewis’s forgery could have led to a nationwide epidemic of aspiring X-ray technicians using crayon drawings instead of degrees. The healthcare system might have become a funhouse of misdiagnoses.. Fact: Did you know that in some alternate timelines, hospitals were staffed entirely by people who just Googled 'how to be a doctor'?.
• Headline: Answer on Phone: ‘This Is the Robber’. Impact: This phone call might have inspired future bank robbers to rethink their communication strategies. Who needs a getaway plan when you can just call your local radio station?. Fact: Did you know that this robbery led to a sudden spike in bank tellers practicing their negotiation skills? 'No, I won't give you the money, but how about a nice chat on air?'.
• Headline: MISS DURAS'S PLAY OPENS A RUN HERE. Impact: Duras’s play opening could have opened the floodgates for a generation of pretentious theater-goers who believed they were in on the joke, when really, they were just confused.. Fact: Did you know that theater critics sometimes use 'self-conscious' as a euphemism for 'I have no idea what's happening, but I want to sound smart'?.
• Headline: EX‐LOMBARDI AIDE ENDS 3‐YEAR STAY. Impact: P Bengston’s resignation may have set off a chain reaction of coaching changes in football history, leading to a world where every team is just a revolving door of coaches with questionable hairstyles.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more volatile than a football coach's job is the hair gel they use. One wrong move and it's game over!.
• Headline: 20 Queens College Blacks Evict 500 White Students. Impact: This eviction could have sparked a wave of cultural awareness and activism, or it could have led to an endless cycle of campus turf wars. Either way, the drama was just heating up.. Fact: Did you know that this event inspired countless sitcoms and dramas about college life? Because nothing says 'higher education' like a good brawl over cultural events!.
• Headline: Screen: `Alex in Wonderland’ Arrives. Impact: The arrival of 'Alex in Wonderland' may have inspired a generation of filmmakers to explore the surreal, leading to a decade of movies that made absolutely no sense. Thanks, Fellini!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more confusing than 'Alex in Wonderland' is trying to explain it to someone who only watches Marvel movies..
• Headline: State Is Petitioned To Help Preserve Shakespeare Fete. Impact: The push to preserve the Shakespeare festival might have triggered a long-lasting love for the Bard, eventually leading to a Shakespeare-themed reality show. 'Survivor: The Tempest Edition' anyone?. Fact: Did you know that Shakespeare's plays were originally performed with way less drama than reality TV? Shocking, I know!.