DECEMBER 10, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hussein Seeks U.S. Aid for Peace Talks. Impact: Had Hussein not requested that aid, the U.S. might have invested in developing a line of high-tech coffee machines instead. Imagine a world where wars were fought over the best espresso shots.. Fact: Did you know that coffee was actually considered a strategic resource during the Cold War? Because nothing says diplomacy like a good cup of joe..
• Headline: House Group Pushes for Cambodia Aid Approval. Impact: If this aid maneuver hadn't happened, Cambodia might have become a hotbed for origami enthusiasts instead of a battleground. Who knew paper cranes could have changed history?. Fact: Funny enough, Cambodia is home to some of the world's most intricate origami. Guess they were preparing for peace way before the rest of us!.
• Headline: Cross's Captivity and the Haunting News. Impact: Cross's kidnapping led to a surge in the demand for more dramatic news reporting. Who knew that the 'dynamite on the head' trend would inspire future reality shows?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'hostage' comes from the Middle Ages? So, in a way, this has been a long-standing tradition of poor decision-making..
• Headline: The Impact of U.N. Resolutions. Impact: The excitement over UN resolutions led to a series of increasingly absurd debates about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Spoiler: they never really got anything done.. Fact: The UN has passed over 1,000 resolutions, but if you ask most people, they'd struggle to name even one. Talk about an effective PR campaign!.
• Headline: Heir to Bing's Post Plans More Contemporary Met. Impact: The Met Opera's shift to contemporary works might have led to an alternate universe where opera singers were replaced by pop stars. Just imagine Lady Gaga in a ball gown!. Fact: Did you know that opera was once considered the rock and roll of its time? Even Mozart had groupies!.
• Headline: NIGERIAN ASSAILS GUINEAN INVASION. Impact: Nigerian objections to the Guinean invasion sparked a series of diplomatic faux pas that eventually led to the invention of the awkward diplomatic handshake. You're welcome, world.. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic incidents often involve more than just politics? Sometimes it's just someone forgetting to bring the right snacks to a meeting..
• Headline: Ulbricht Voices Optimism On Negotiating With Bonn. Impact: Ulbricht's optimism about negotiations set off a chain reaction that ultimately resulted in a whole line of German 'Unification' merchandise. Nothing says peace like T-shirts.. Fact: Did you know that the Berlin Wall fell partly due to a shortage of wall paint? True story: too many murals, not enough paint!.
• Headline: Quake's Effect on Buildings Tested. Impact: The quake tests led to a seismic shift in architectural standards, quite literally. Who knew that buildings swaying like they just heard a bad joke could save lives?. Fact: Did you know that the tallest building in Los Angeles swayed so much during the quake that it almost joined a dance-off? Talk about a shaky performance..