DECEMBER 5, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Shell Oil's Controversial Fire Management. Impact: This fire, which was meant to minimize pollution, ironically led to the invention of the world's first flaming oil cocktail, inspiring the modern-day bar scene and countless regrettable decisions.. Fact: Did you know that keeping a fire burning to minimize pollution is much like keeping a refrigerator open to cool down your house? Both are equally effective and environmentally friendly!.
• Headline: Rising Unemployment Rates in November 2009. Impact: The rise in unemployment among young women sparked a wave of entrepreneurial spirit, leading to the creation of 'The Unemployed Women's Club,' which ironically became the most exclusive networking event of the decade.. Fact: Fun fact: The highest unemployment rate in 7½ years is just a fancy way of saying the job market is playing hard to get..
• Headline: Ford Defends Impeachment Efforts Against Douglas. Impact: Ford's relentless pursuit to impeach Douglas eventually inspired a new genre of political soap operas, where drama queens and backroom deals became the norm.. Fact: Did you know that attempts to impeach someone are just like those really persistent telemarketers? They never really go away, no matter how many times you say 'no.'.
• Headline: Concorde Backers Disturbed by U.S. Rejection of SST Funds. Impact: The rejection of SST funds in the U.S. led to a butterfly effect of environmental regulations that turned the Concorde into a mythical creature, whispered about in elite aviation circles and only ever seen in vintage movies.. Fact: Did you know that Boeing's frustration over Concorde's rejection led to them developing a new line of eco-friendly broomsticks for flying? Sustainable travel at its finest!.
• Headline: Text of President's Speech to Manufacturers Here on Nation's Economic Outlook. Impact: Nixon's speech to manufacturers was so riveting that it inspired an entirely new genre of motivational speaking, resulting in countless cringe-worthy seminars down the line.. Fact: Did you know that Nixon's speeches were often mistaken for bedtime stories? They had the same effect—putting people to sleep in record time!.
• Headline: OIL RESTRICTIONS RELAXED BY NIXON TO CURB INFLATION. Impact: Nixon's relaxation of oil restrictions triggered a wave of 'let's cut costs' thinking that led to more questionable decisions in economic policy-making, including a notorious late-night pizza party for Congress.. Fact: Did you know that Nixon's idea of curbing inflation was about as effective as using a leaky bucket to carry water? Spoiler alert: it didn't work..
• Headline: ARMCO STEEL SETS DIRECT REDUCTION. Impact: ARMCO's direct reduction plant paved the way for the future of iron production, eventually leading to the invention of the world's first 'Iron Chef' competition where chefs battled with molten metal instead of food.. Fact: Did you know that building a direct-reduction plant is a lot like following a DIY tutorial on YouTube? You start excited, but halfway through, you realize you might be in over your head!.
• Headline: Army to Curb Post Access. Impact: The Army's decision to curb public access led to a series of 'Top Secret' tours that fueled conspiracy theories about aliens living on military bases—because who doesn't love a good cover-up?. Fact: Did you know that restricting public access to military bases only made them more popular? It's like the forbidden fruit that everyone suddenly wants to taste!.
• Headline: Canada Increases Unemployment Pay 10% in New Budget. Impact: Canada's increase in unemployment pay was the start of a trend where people started equating government assistance with extended vacation time, leading to a rise in 'professional loungers.'. Fact: Did you know that increasing unemployment pay by 10% is just the government’s way of saying, 'We acknowledge that adulting is hard?'.