JULY 31, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Controversy Over Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden Plans. Impact: If the Hirshhorn sculpture garden had been built as planned, we could have ended up with a national landmark that resembled a giant, artistic gopher hole. Just think of the tourism! 'Come see the monumental gopher!' would have been a new slogan for the ages. Fact: The Hirshhorn Museum now houses one of the largest collections of modern art in the US, but if they’d gone with the original plan, we’d likely be debating the merits of abstract art versus landscaping disasters.
• Headline: Historic Indictment of Police Officer. Impact: This brave officer's admission might have been the first domino that led to the eventual establishment of internal affairs units across the country. Who knew that honesty could lead to a policing revolution?. Fact: Lt. Word's case revealed the murky waters of police corruption, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine if he had kept it to himself... we might have been completely oblivious to the systemic issues!.
• Headline: St. Nick Makes a Rare Summer Visit. Impact: Had this early printing of the Christmas classic gone unnoticed, we may have ended up with a world where children believe Santa only comes in winter, resulting in a lot of confused kids and disappointed parents in July. Fact: The poem was originally published anonymously, which raises the question: Was Santa really just a pen name for a very clever marketing team?.
• Headline: Treasury Seeking An Incentive Levy For Lead‐Free Gas. Impact: If this tax had never been proposed, we might still be living in a world where lead gasoline was the norm. Picture it: cars sputtering along highways while our brains slowly fry. Thank you, Treasury, for saving our sanity and our brains!. Fact: Leaded gasoline was phased out in the 1980s, but not without a fight. Some people still argue that it gave their cars 'character.'.
• Headline: Mobutu Heads for U.S.. Impact: This visit could have been the catalyst for a series of questionable diplomatic decisions. Imagine if Mobutu had inspired a new wave of fashion—'Mobutu Chic'—where camouflage hats became the norm in D.C. power meetings. Fact: Mobutu Sese Seko ruled Zaire (now the Democratic Republic of the Congo) with an iron fist and a penchant for flashy suits. Talk about a fashion statement!.
• Headline: Spies in the Library. Impact: If the IRS had gotten their way, we might have seen the rise of a new genre: 'Spy Fiction for Beginners.' The heart-stopping thrill of checking out a book on explosives would have taken a whole new meaning!. Fact: Library privacy is a big deal, and this controversy just goes to show that even your local librarian might have more secrets than you think!.
• Headline: 3 Book Clubs Pick Paul Horgan Novel. Impact: This selection could have paved the way for a resurgence in literary appreciation. Who knows? If it hadn't happened, we might all still be stuck reading only what’s trending on social media. Fact: Book clubs have become the last bastion of civilized conversation in a world where 'reading' is often just scrolling through memes.
• Headline: Transcript of the President's News Conference on Foreign and Domestic Matters. Impact: This seemingly mundane event might have been the turning point for presidential transparency. If Nixon had just been a little more forthcoming, we might have avoided a few decades of conspiracy theories. Fact: Nixon's press conferences are a reminder that sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction, especially when the fiction is coming from the Oval Office.