JULY 6, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Israeli Jets Downed Over Canal Zone. Impact: The downing of these jets sparked an unexpected arms race that led to the development of increasingly advanced missiles. If only two fighter-bombers had been shot down, perhaps we would all be flying around in jet packs by now instead of still stuck in traffic.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'missile defense' was coined shortly after this incident? Apparently, someone thought it would be a good idea to defend against missiles... who would have guessed?.
• Headline: Arson Charge at Amusement Arcade Incident. Impact: This arson case led to a sudden uptick in fire safety regulations nationwide, ultimately resulting in the invention of the fire extinguisher. Yes, folks, one disgruntled employee inadvertently saved countless lives... and probably a few more arcades.. Fact: Did you know that if L Solan had just taken a yoga class instead of setting fire to the basement, we might have avoided the whole 'arson' situation? Namaste, indeed..
• Headline: Life and Legacy of Mrs. William C. Segal. Impact: Cora Segal's life quietly rippled through history as she inspired future generations of women to take on more prominent roles, proving that sometimes, behind every great man is a woman waiting to be acknowledged. Thanks, history!. Fact: Did you know that Cora's life was so unremarkable that even Google struggles to find her? But hey, at least she was married to someone famous, right?.
• Headline: Great Falls, Mont.: A Fourth of July With Feeling. Impact: This Fourth of July event turned Great Falls into a hub of patriotic fervor, leading to a town tradition that resulted in a yearly influx of tourists and an annual rise in hot dog consumption. You’re welcome, obesity rates.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more explosive than the fireworks was the local hot dog eating contest? It’s a real 'bang for your buck' kind of day!.
• Headline: Rangel Calls Nixon Honest But Deplores His Policies. Impact: Rangel's comments set off a chain reaction in political discourse, leading to even more convoluted bipartisan discussions that still leave us wondering: are politicians trying to help us, or just confuse us more?. Fact: Did you know that calling Nixon 'honest' is like calling a raccoon a 'great houseguest'? Sure, they might not steal your snacks, but you’ll still wake up to a mess..
• Headline: LOCAL TAXES FOUND UP 111% IN DECADE. Impact: The shocking rise in local taxes ignited debates about fiscal responsibility and government spending that have echoed through every election cycle since. It turns out that taxes rising faster than the speed of light is a universal constant.. Fact: Did you know that in an alternate universe, this headline led to a massive tax revolt where citizens demanded their money back in pizza? Because who wouldn’t want a slice of that?.
• Headline: Robb Sagendorph, 69, Publisher Of Farmer's Almanac Is Dead. Impact: Robb Sagendorph's passing marked the end of an era for The Farmer's Almanac, leading to a surprising resurgence of interest in weather predictions that would change the way people plan their gardening (and camping) activities forever.. Fact: Did you know that without Sagendorph, many farmers would have had to rely solely on their gut feelings about the weather? Talk about a risky harvest!.
• Headline: 11 Firebombs Found Under Police Cars In a Parking Yard. Impact: The discovery of these firebombs under police cars sent shockwaves through law enforcement, leading to increased security measures that eventually resulted in the invention of the 'bomb squad'—because who doesn’t love a team in cool uniforms?. Fact: Did you know that if police cars were equipped with anti-Molotov technology back then, they might have avoided a lot of awkward conversations with angry citizens? 'We come in peace!'.
• Headline: Canada's Indians Fear Shift in Status. Impact: The fear expressed by Canada's Indigenous peoples led to a significant shift in government policies, ultimately resulting in the recognition of rights that would echo for decades, and a never-ending debate about treaties that left many scratching their heads.. Fact: Did you know that the 'red paper' was the original draft for what would become a bestseller titled 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate Your Constituents'? Spoiler alert: it didn’t go to print..
• Headline: City to Get 1,000 Bet Windows in Year. Impact: The opening of 1,000 betting windows revolutionized gambling culture, leading to a world where betting on anything and everything became the norm, and your neighbor's cat probably has a betting pool on its next nap.. Fact: Did you know that the first betting window was actually just a guy standing behind a tree taking bets on who would win a race between two snails? Spoiler: it was a slow day..