JULY 5, 1970

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discovering George Mason's Legacy. Impact: When George Mason's papers circulated, they inadvertently started a chain reaction leading to the invention of the modern-day 'I told you so' meme. Thanks, founding fathers!. Fact: George Mason was so influential, even his papers have more followers than your average social media influencer..
• Headline: Donnie Allison Wins Firecracker 400. Impact: Donnie Allison's victory at Daytona Beach sparked a racing culture that would eventually lead to cars being the preferred method of travel for people who can't handle public transport.. Fact: The Firecracker 400 is ironically named because it’s the only time you’ll see people more excited about cars than fireworks..
• Headline: A Synthetic Suture Called Compatible With Human Tissue. Impact: The development of synthetic sutures accidentally led to the rise of DIY surgeries. Thanks to this breakthrough, your cousin now thinks he can fix his own injuries.. Fact: The phrase 'it's all in the stitching' became popular shortly after this, despite no one knowing what it meant..
• Headline: Ailing Health System Needs More Than Money. Impact: The health system crisis became a blueprint for future healthcare debates, where everyone pretends to know what 'universal coverage' means but really just wants free band-aids.. Fact: The only thing this report healed was the need for more reports on healthcare; it’s like a never-ending cycle of medical drama..
• Headline: O'Brien Breaks Record For 3,000‐Meter Chase. Impact: O'Brien's record-breaking performance inspired countless underperformers to take up running—but mostly just to complain about it later.. Fact: The 3,000-meter chase is the only race where the spectators are just as exhausted as the runners by the end..
• Headline: The ‘Gay’ People Demand Their Rights. Impact: The march for gay rights in NYC was the spark that ignited a movement, leading to a dramatic increase in rainbow-themed merchandise. You're welcome, capitalism!. Fact: This was the first time the phrase 'we're here, we're queer' was used, which later became a popular slogan for any gathering that needed a little more pizzazz..
• Headline: A Talk With Konrad Lorenz. Impact: Konrad Lorenz's insights into animal behavior led to some people thinking it’s totally fine to treat their pets like actual children. Spoiler alert: it's not.. Fact: Lorenz's work set the stage for countless future documentaries about animal behavior, which we now binge-watch instead of actual human interaction..
• Headline: Bettenhausen Wins in Michigan As Leading Johncock Spins Out. Impact: Bettenhausen's win led to a series of 'whoops' moments in racing history where drivers mistakenly thought 'spin out' was just a fun term for losing control.. Fact: Johncock spinning out became a metaphor in racing for 'taking a break'—just a little more dramatic..